|Freebsd Fortunes 7: 261 of 1340|
What they said:
What they meant:
"You will be fortunate if you can get him to work for you."
(We certainly never succeeded.)
There is no other employee with whom I can adequately compare him.
(Well, our rats aren't really employees...)
"Success will never spoil him."
(Well, at least not MUCH more.)
"One usually comes away from him with a good feeling."
(And such a sigh of relief.)
"His dissertation is the sort of work you don't expect to see these days;
in it he has definitely demonstrated his complete capabilities."
(And his IQ, as well.)
"He should go far."
(The farther the better.)
"He will take full advantage of his staff."
(He even has one of them mowing his lawn after work.)
|Freebsd Fortunes 7: 262 of 1340|
What they say: What they mean:
A major technological breakthrough... Back to the drawing board.
Developed after years of research Discovered by pure accident.
Project behind original schedule due We're working on something else.
to unforseen difficulties
Designs are within allowable limits We made it, stretching a point or two.
Customer satisfaction is believed So far behind schedule that they'll be
assured grateful for anything at all.
Close project coordination We're gonna spread the blame, campers!
Test results were extremely gratifying It works, and boy, were we surprised!
The design will be finalized... We haven't started yet, but we've got
to say something.
The entire concept has been rejected The guy who designed it quit.
We're moving forward with a fresh We hired three new guys, and they're
approach kicking it around.
A number of different approaches... We don't know where we're going, but
Preliminary operational tests are Blew up when we turned it on.
Modifications are underway We're starting over.
|Freebsd Fortunes 7: 263 of 1340|
What they say: What they mean:
New Different colors from previous version.
All New Not compatible with previous version.
Exclusive Nobody else has documentation.
Unmatched Almost as good as the competition.
Design Simplicity The company wouldn't give us any money.
Fool-proof Operation All parameters are hard-coded.
Advanced Design Nobody really understands it.
Here At Last Didn't get it done on time.
Field Tested We don't have any simulators.
Years of Development Finally got one to work.
Unprecedented Performance Nothing ever ran this slow before.
Revolutionary Disk drives go 'round and 'round.
Futuristic Only runs on a next generation supercomputer.
No Maintenance Impossible to fix.
Performance Proven Worked through Beta test.
Meets Tough Quality Standards It compiles without errors.
Satisfaction Guaranteed We'll send you another pack if it fails.
Stock Item We shipped it before and can do it again.
|Freebsd Fortunes 7: 264 of 1340|
What this country needs is a dime that will buy a good five-cent bagel.
|Freebsd Fortunes 7: 265 of 1340|
What this country needs is a good 5 dollar plasma weapon.
|Freebsd Fortunes 7: 266 of 1340|
What this country needs is a good five cent ANYTHING!
|Freebsd Fortunes 7: 267 of 1340|
What this country needs is a good five cent microcomputer.
|Freebsd Fortunes 7: 268 of 1340|
What this country needs is a good five-cent nickel.
|Freebsd Fortunes 7: 269 of 1340|
What time is it?
I don't know, it keeps changing.
|Freebsd Fortunes 7: 270 of 1340|
What upsets me is not that you lied to me,
but that from now on I can no longer believe you.