Freebsd Fortunes 7
fortune: 351 - 360 of 1340 from freebsd fortunes 7
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Nov 19, 2017
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Freebsd Fortunes 7

Fortune: 351 - 360 of 1340 from Freebsd Fortunes 7

Freebsd Fortunes 7:  351 of 1340

When I came back to Dublin I was courtmartialed in my absence and sentenced
to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence.
                -- Brendan Behan
 
Freebsd Fortunes 7:  352 of 1340

When I demanded of my friend what viands he preferred,
He quoth: "A large cold bottle, and a small hot bird!"
                -- Eugene Field, "The Bottle and the Bird"
 
Freebsd Fortunes 7:  353 of 1340

when i die, i'd like to go peacefully.
in my sleep.
like my grandfather.

not screaming,
like the passengers in his car...
 
Freebsd Fortunes 7:  354 of 1340

When I drink, *everybody* drinks!" a man shouted to the assembled bar patrons.  A
loud general cheer went up.  After downing his whiskey, he hopped onto a
barstool and shouted "When I take another drink, *everybody* takes another
drink!"  The announcement produced another cheer and another round of drinks.
        As soon as he had downed his second drink, the fellow hopped back
onto the stool.  "And when I pay," he bellowed, slapping five dollars onto
the bar, "*everybody* pays!"
 
Freebsd Fortunes 7:  355 of 1340

When I first arrived in this country I had only fifteen cents in my pocket
and a willingness to compromise.
                -- Weber cartoon caption
 
Freebsd Fortunes 7:  356 of 1340

When I get real bored, I like to drive down town and get a great
parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me
if i'm leaving.
                -- Steven Wright
 
Freebsd Fortunes 7:  357 of 1340

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot,
then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving.
                -- Steven Wright
 
Freebsd Fortunes 7:  358 of 1340

When I grow up, I want to be an honest
lawyer so things like that can't happen.
                -- Richard Nixon, as a boy, on the Teapot Dome scandal
 
Freebsd Fortunes 7:  359 of 1340

When I have one foot in the grave I will tell the truth about women.  I
shall tell it, jump into my coffin, pull the lid over me, and say, "Do
what you like now."
                -- Tolstoy
 
Freebsd Fortunes 7:  360 of 1340

When I hear a man applauded by the mob I always feel a pang of pity
for him.  All he has to do to be hissed is to live long enough.
                -- H.L. Mencken, "Minority Report"
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