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fortune: 511 - 520 of 2298 from freebsd fortunes 5
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May 28, 2018
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Fortune: 511 - 520 of 2298 from Freebsd Fortunes 5

Freebsd Fortunes 5:  511 of 2298

"My God!  Are we sure he was a liberal?"
"Pretty sure.  They pulled him from a Volvo."
 
Freebsd Fortunes 5:  512 of 2298

My God, I'm depressed!  Here I am, a computer with a mind a thousand times
as powerful as yours, doing nothing but cranking out fortunes and sending
mail about softball games.  And I've got this pain right through my ALU.
I've asked for it to be replaced, but nobody ever listens.  I think it
would be better for us both if you were to just log out again.
 
Freebsd Fortunes 5:  513 of 2298

My, how you've changed since I've changed.
 
Freebsd Fortunes 5:  514 of 2298

My idea of roughing it is when room service is late.
 
Freebsd Fortunes 5:  515 of 2298

My idea of roughing it turning the air conditioner too low.
 
Freebsd Fortunes 5:  516 of 2298

My interest is in the future because I am
going to spend the rest of my life there.
 
Freebsd Fortunes 5:  517 of 2298

My love, he's mad, and my love, he's fleet,
        And a wild young wood-thing bore him!
The ways are fair to his roaming feet,
        And the skies are sunlit for him.
As sharply sweet to my heart he seems
        As the fragrance of acacia.
My own dear love, he is all my dreams --
        And I wish he were in Asia.
                -- Dorothy Parker, part 2
 
Freebsd Fortunes 5:  518 of 2298

My love runs by like a day in June,
        And he makes no friends of sorrows.
He'll tread his galloping rigadoon
        In the pathway or the morrows.
He'll live his days where the sunbeams start
        Nor could storm or wind uproot him.
My own dear love, he is all my heart --
        And I wish somebody'd shoot him.
                -- Dorothy Parker, part 3
 
Freebsd Fortunes 5:  519 of 2298

My method is to take the utmost trouble to find the right
thing to say.  And then say it with the utmost levity.
                -- G.B. Shaw
 
Freebsd Fortunes 5:  520 of 2298

My mind can never know my body, although
it has become quite friendly with my legs.
                -- Woody Allen, on Epistemology
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