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Sep 24, 2018
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Fortune: 319 - 328 of 2171 from Freebsd Fortunes 6

Freebsd Fortunes 6:  319 of 2171

The anger of a woman is the greatest evil
with which you can threaten your enemies.
                -- Bonnard
Freebsd Fortunes 6:  320 of 2171

The Anglo-Saxon conscience does not prevent the Anglo-Saxon from
sinning, it merely prevents him from enjoying his sin.
                --Salvador De Madariaga
Freebsd Fortunes 6:  321 of 2171

The angry man always thinks he can do more than he can.
                -- Albertano of Brescia
Freebsd Fortunes 6:  322 of 2171

The animals are not as stupid as one thinks -- they have neither
doctors nor lawyers.
                -- L. Docquier
Freebsd Fortunes 6:  323 of 2171

The annual meeting of the "You Have To Listen To Experience" Club is now in
session.  Our Achievement Awards this year are in the fields of publishing,
advertising and industry.  For best consistent contribution in the field of
publishing our award goes to editor, R.L.K., [...] for his unrivalled alle-
giance without variation to the statement: "Personally I'd love to do it,
we'd ALL love to do it.  But we're not going to do it.  It's not the kind of
book our house knows how to handle."  Our superior performance award in the
field of advertising goes to media executive, E.L.M., [...] for the continu-
ally creative use of the old favorite: "I think what you've got here could be
very exciting.  Why not give it one more try based on the approach I've out-
lined and see if you can come up with something fresh."  Our final award for
courageous holding action in the field of industry goes to supervisor, R.S.,
[...] for her unyielding grip on "I don't care if they fire me, I've been
arguing for a new approach for YEARS but are we SURE that this is the right
time--"  I would like to conclude this meeting with a verse written specially
for our prospectus by our founding president fifty years ago -- and now, as
then, fully expressive of the emotion most close to all our hearts --
        Treat freshness as a youthful quirk,
                And dare not stray to ideas new,
        For if t'were tried they might e'en work
                And for a living what woulds't we do?
Freebsd Fortunes 6:  324 of 2171

The answer to the question of Life, the Universe, and Everything is...

        Four day work week,
        Two ply toilet paper!
Freebsd Fortunes 6:  325 of 2171

The answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything was
released with the kind permission of the Amalgamated Union of Philosophers,
Sages, Luminaries, and Other Professional Thinking Persons.
Freebsd Fortunes 6:  326 of 2171

The ark lands after The Flood.  Noah lets all the animals out.  Says he, "Go
and multiply."  Several months pass.  Noah decides to check up on the animals.
All are doing fine except a pair of snakes.  "What's the problem?" says Noah.
"Cut down some trees and let us live there", say the snakes.  Noah follows
their advice.  Several more weeks pass.  Noah checks on the snakes again.
Lots of little snakes, everybody is happy.  Noah asks, "Want to tell me how
the trees helped?"  "Certainly", say the snakes. "We're adders, and we need
logs to multiply."
Freebsd Fortunes 6:  327 of 2171

The arms business is founded on human folly, that is why its depths will
never be plumbed and why it will go on forever.  All weapons are defensive
and all spare parts are non-lethal.  The plainest print cannot be read
through a solid gold sovereign, or a ruble or a golden eagle.
                -- Sam Cummings, American arms dealer
Freebsd Fortunes 6:  328 of 2171

The Army has carried the American ... ideal to its logical conclusion.
Not only do they prohibit discrimination on the grounds of race, creed
and color, but also on ability.
                -- T. Lehrer
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