|Freebsd Limericks: 805 of 860|
There was an old pirate named Bates
Who was learning to rhumba on skates
He fell on his cutlass
Which rendered him nutless
And practically useless on dates.
|Freebsd Limericks: 806 of 860|
There was an old satyr named Mack
Whose prick had a left handed tack.
If the ladies he loves
Don't spin when he shoves,
Their cervixes frequently crack.
|Freebsd Limericks: 807 of 860|
There was an old Scot named McTavish
Who attempted an anthropoid ravish.
The object of rape
Was the wrong sex of ape,
And the anthropoid ravished McTavish.
|Freebsd Limericks: 808 of 860|
There was an old whore from Silesia
Who'd croke: "If my box doesn't please ya,
For a slight extra sum
You can go up my bum
But watchout or my tapeworm'll seize ya."
|Freebsd Limericks: 809 of 860|
There was an old whore in the Azores
Whose body was covered with festers & sores.
Why the dogs in the street
Wouldn't eat the green meat
That hung in festoons from her drawers.
|Freebsd Limericks: 810 of 860|
There was an old woman of Ghent
Who swore that her cunt had no scent.
She got fucked so often
At last she got rotten,
And didn't she stink when she spent.
|Freebsd Limericks: 811 of 860|
There was once a mechanic named Bench
Whose best tool was a sturdy gut-wrench.
With this vibrant device
He could reach, in a trice,
The innermost parts of a wench.
|Freebsd Limericks: 812 of 860|
There was once a sad Maitre d'hotel
Who said, "They can all go to hell!
What they do to my wife--
Why it ruins my life;
And the worst is, they all do it well.
|Freebsd Limericks: 813 of 860|
There were three ladies of Huxham,
And whenever we meets 'em we fucks 'em,
And when that game grows stale
We sits on a rail,
And pulls out our pricks and they sucks 'em.
|Freebsd Limericks: 814 of 860|
There were three young ladies of Birmingham,
And this is the scandal concerning 'em.
They lifted the frock
And tickled the cock
Of the Bishop engaged in confirming 'em.
Now, the Bishop was nobody's fool,
He'd been to a good public school,
So he took down their britches
And buggered those bitches
With his ten-inch episcopal tool.
Then up spoke a lady from Kew,
And said, as the Bishop withdrew,
"The vicar is quicker
And thicker and slicker,
And longer and stronger than you."
-- Abuses of the Clergy