Freebsd Limericks

A young fellow discovered through Freud
That although of penis devoid,
        He could practice coitus
        By eating a foetus,
And his parents were quite overjoyed.

A young Juliet of St. Louis
On a balcony stood acting screwy.
        Her Romeo climbed,
        But he wasn't well timed,
And half-way up, off he went -- blooey!

A young lad named Lester McGraw
Caught a stranger on top of his Maw.
        As he watched him stick her
        He said, with a snicker,
"You do it much faster than Paw."

A young lady sat by the sea,
Just as proper as proper could be.
        A young fellow goosed her,
        And roughly seduced her,
So she thanked him and went home to tea.

A young lady who lived by the Usk
Subsisted each day on a rusk;
        She ate the first bite
        Before it was light,
And the last crumb sometime after dusk.
                -- Edward Gorey

A young lass got married at Chester;
Her mother she kissed and she blessed her.
        Said she, "You're in luck --
        'E's a stunning good fuck,
For I've 'ad 'im meself down in Leicester."

A young maiden from France was no prude,
She decided to dive in the nude,
        But her buddy, behind,
        Went out of his mind,
When he noticed where she was tatooed.

A young man by a girl was desired
To give her the thrills she required,
        But he died of old age
        Ere his cock could assuage
The volcanic desire it inspired.

A young man from the banks of the Po
Found his cock had elongated so,
        That when he'd pee
        It was never he
But only his neighbors who'd know.

A young man grew increasingly peaky
In a house where the hinges were squeaky,
        The ferns curled up brown,
        The ceilings flaked down,
And all of the faucets were leaky.
                -- Edward Gorey