Freebsd Limericks
fortune: 831 - 840 of 860 from freebsd limericks
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Freebsd Limericks

Fortune: 831 - 840 of 860 from Freebsd Limericks

Freebsd Limericks:  831 of 860

'Tis a custom in Castellamare
To fuck in the back of a lorry.
        The chassis and springs
        Are like woodwinds and strings
In the midst of a musical soiree.
 
Freebsd Limericks:  832 of 860

To a weepy young woman in Thrums
Her betrothed remarked, "This is what comes
        Of allowing your tears
        To fall into my ears -
I think they have rotted the drums."
                -- Edward Gorey
 
Freebsd Limericks:  833 of 860

To bear offspring, Noah's snakes were unable.
Their fertility was somewhat unstable.
        He constructed a bed
        Out of tree trunks and said,
"Even adders can multiply on a log table."
 
Freebsd Limericks:  834 of 860

To his bride a young bridegroom said, "Pish!
Your cunt is as big as a dish!"
        She replied, "Why, you fool,
        With your limp little tool
It's like driving a nail with a fish!"
 
Freebsd Limericks:  835 of 860

To his bride said a numskull named Clarence :
"I trust you will show some forbearance.
        My sexual habits
        I picked up from rabbits,
And occasionally watching my parents."
 
Freebsd Limericks:  836 of 860

To his bride said economist Fife :
"The semen you'll launch as my wife,
        We will salvage and freeze
        To resemble goat's cheese,
And slice for hors d'oeuvres with a knife."
 
Freebsd Limericks:  837 of 860

To his bride said the keen-eyed detective,
"Can it be that my eyesight's defective?
        Has the east tit the least bit
        The best of the west tit,
Or is it the faulty perspective?"
 
Freebsd Limericks:  838 of 860

To his bride, said the sharp eyed detective,
"Can it be that my eyesight's defective?
        Is your east tit the least bit
        The best of your west tit,
Or is it a trick of perspective?"
 
Freebsd Limericks:  839 of 860

To his clubfooted child said Lord Stipple,
As he poured his post-prandial tipple,
        "Your mother's behaviour
        Gave pain to Our Saviour,
And that's why He made you a cripple."
                -- Edward Gorey
 
Freebsd Limericks:  840 of 860

Two anglers were fishing off Wight
And his bobber was dipping all night.
        Murmured she, with a laugh,
        "It's ready to gaff,
But don't break your rod which is light."

A couple was fishing near Clombe
When the maid began looking quite glum,
        And said, "Bother the fish!
        I'd rather coish!"
Which they did -- which was why they had come.

As two consular clerks in Madras
Fished, hidden in deep shore-grass,
        "What a marvelous pole,"
        Said she, "but control
Your sinkers -- they're banging my ass."
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