|Freebsd Fortunes: 3407 of 3566|
Why do we have two eyes? To watch 3-D movies with.
|Freebsd Fortunes: 3408 of 3566|
Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently
there must be a beverage.
-- Woody Allen, "Without Feathers"
|Freebsd Fortunes: 3409 of 3566|
Why does New Jersey have more toxic waste dumps and California have
New Jersey had first choice.
|Freebsd Fortunes: 3410 of 3566|
Why don't elephants eat penguins ?
Because they can't get the wrappers off ...
|Freebsd Fortunes: 3411 of 3566|
Why I Can't Go Out With You:
I'd LOVE to, but ...
-- I have to floss my cat.
-- I've dedicated my life to linguini.
-- I need to spend more time with my blender.
-- it wouldn't be fair to the other Beautiful People.
-- it's my night to pet the dog/ferret/goldfish.
-- I'm going downtown to try on some gloves.
-- I have to check the freshness dates on my dairy products.
-- I'm going down to the bakery to watch the buns rise.
-- I have an appointment with a cuticle specialist.
-- I have some really hard words to look up.
-- I've got a Friends of the Lowly Rutabaga meeting.
-- I promised to help a friend fold road maps.
|Freebsd Fortunes: 3412 of 3566|
"Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is
because we are not the person involved"
-- Mark Twain
|Freebsd Fortunes: 3413 of 3566|
Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
|Freebsd Fortunes: 3414 of 3566|
"Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?"
-- Lily Tomlin
|Freebsd Fortunes: 3415 of 3566|
"Why must you tell me all your secrets when it's hard enough to love
you knowing nothing?"
-- Lloyd Cole and the Commotions
|Freebsd Fortunes: 3416 of 3566|
Why not have an old-fashioned Christmas for your family this year?
Just picture the scene in your living room on Christmas morning as your
children open their old-fashioned presents.
Your 11-year-old son: "What the heck is this?"
You: "A spinning top! You spin it around, and then eventually it
falls down. What fun! Ha, ha!"
Son: "Is this a joke? Jason Thompson's parents got him a computer
with two disk drives and 128 kilobytes of random-access memory,
and I get this cretin TOP?"
Your 8-year-old daughter: "You think that's bad? Look at this."
You: "It's figgy pudding! What a treat!"
Daughter: "It looks like goat barf."
-- Dave Barry, "Simple, Homespun Gifts"