|Linux Definitions: 1001 of 1105|
The Official MBA Handbook on doing company business on an airplane:
Do not work openly on top-secret company cost documents unless
you have previously ascertained that the passenger next to you
is blind, a rock musician on mood-ameliorating drugs, or the
unfortunate possessor of a forty-seventh chromosome.
|Linux Definitions: 1002 of 1105|
The Official MBA Handbook on the use of sunlamps:
Use a sunlamp only on weekends. That way, if the office wise guy
remarks on the sudden appearance of your tan, you can fabricate
some story about a sun-stroked weekend at some island Shangri-La
like Caneel Bay. Nothing is more transparent than leaving the
office at 11:45 on a Tuesday night, only to return an Aztec sun
god at 8:15 the next morning.
|Linux Definitions: 1003 of 1105|
The Phone Booth Rule:
A lone dime always gets the number nearly right.
|Linux Definitions: 1004 of 1105|
The qotc (quote of the con) was Liz's:
"My brain is paged out to my liver."
|Linux Definitions: 1005 of 1105|
The real man's Bloody Mary:
Ingredients: vodka, tomato juice, Tobasco, Worcestershire
sauce, A-1 steak sauce, ice, salt, pepper, celery.
Fill a large tumbler with vodka.
Throw all the other ingredients away.
|Linux Definitions: 1006 of 1105|
The Roman Rule:
The one who says it cannot be done should never interrupt the
one who is doing it.
|Linux Definitions: 1007 of 1105|
(1) Thou shalt not worship other computer systems.
(2) Thou shalt not impersonate Liberace or eat watermelon while
sitting at the console keyboard.
(3) Thou shalt not slap users on the face, nor staple their silly
little card decks together.
(4) Thou shalt not get physically involved with the computer system,
especially if you're already married.
(5) Thou shalt not use magnetic tapes as frisbees, nor use a disk
pack as a stool to reach another disk pack.
(6) Thou shalt not stare at the blinking lights for more than one
eight hour shift.
(7) Thou shalt not tell users that you accidentally destroyed their
files/backup just to see the look on their little faces.
(8) Thou shalt not enjoy cancelling a job.
(9) Thou shalt not display firearms in the computer room.
(10) Thou shalt not push buttons "just to see what happens".
|Linux Definitions: 1008 of 1105|
The Second Law of Thermodynamics:
If you think things are in a mess now, just wait!
-- Jim Warner
|Linux Definitions: 1009 of 1105|
The Seventh Commandments for Technicians:
Work thou not on energized equipment, for if thou dost, thy fellow
workers will surely buy beers for thy widow and console her in other
|Linux Definitions: 1010 of 1105|
The Sixth Commandment of Frisbee:
The greatest single aid to distance is for the disc to be going in a
direction you did not want. (Goes the wrong way = Goes a long way.)
-- Dan Roddick