Linux Definitions

Armstrong's Collection Law:
        If the check is truly in the mail,
        it is surely made out to someone else.

Arnold's Addendum:
        Anything not fitting into these categories causes cancer in rats.

Arnold's Laws of Documentation:
        (1) If it should exist, it doesn't.
        (2) If it does exist, it's out of date.
        (3) Only documentation for useless programs transcends the
            first two laws.

Arthur's Laws of Love:
        (1) People to whom you are attracted invariably think you
            remind them of someone else.
        (2) The love letter you finally got the courage to send will be
            delayed in the mail long enough for you to make a fool of
            yourself in person.

ASCII:
        The control code for all beginning programmers and those who would
        become computer literate.  Etymologically, the term has come down as
        a contraction of the often-repeated phrase "ascii and you shall
        receive."
                -- Robb Russon

Atlanta:
        An entire city surrounded by an airport.

Auction:
        A gyp off the old block.

audophile, n:
        Someone who listens to the equipment instead of the music.

Authentic:
        Indubitably true, in somebody's opinion.

Automobile, n.:
        A four-wheeled vehicle that runs up hills and down pedestrians.