Linux Drugs

Life, like beer, is merely borrowed.
                -- Don Reed

Look at it this way: Your daughter just named the fresh turkey you brought
home "Cuddles", so you're going out to buy a canned ham.  And you're still
drinking ordinary scotch?

Look at it this way: Your wife's spending $280 a month on meditation lessons to
forget $26,000 of college education. And you're still drinking ordinary scotch?

Marvin the Nature Lover spied a grasshopper hopping along in the grass,
and in a mood for communing with nature, rare even among full-fledged
Nature Lovers, he spoke to the grasshopper, saying: "Hello, friend
grasshopper.  Did you know they've named a drink after you?"
        "Really?" replied the grasshopper, obviously pleased.  "They've
named a drink Fred?"

"Mind if I smoke?"
        "I don't care if you burst into flames and die!"

"Mind if I smoke?"
        "Yes, I'd like to see that, does it come out of your ears or what?"

My mother drinks to forget she drinks.
                -- Crazy Jimmy

My uncle was the town drunk -- and we lived in Chicago.
                -- George Gobel

Never delay the ending of a meeting or the beginning of a cocktail hour.

Never drink from your finger bowl -- it contains only water.