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"Plaese porrf raed."
-- Prof. Michael O'Longhlin, S.U.N.Y. Purchase
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Practice is the best of all instructors.
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Princeton's taste is sweet like a strawberry tart. Harvard's is a subtle
taste, like whiskey, coffee, or tobacco. It may even be a bad habit, for
all I know.
-- Prof. J.H. Finley '25
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Professor Gorden Newell threw another shutout in last week's Chem Eng. 130
midterm. Once again a student did not receive a single point on his exam.
Newell has now tossed 5 shutouts this quarter. Newell's earned exam average
has now dropped to a phenomenal 30%.
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Reading is thinking with someone else's head instead of one's own.
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Reading is to the mind what exercise is to the body.
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Reporter: "How did you like school when you were growing up, Yogi?"
Yogi Berra: "Closed."
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Rules for Good Grammar #4.
(1) Don't use no double negatives.
(2) Make each pronoun agree with their antecedents.
(3) Join clauses good, like a conjunction should.
(4) About them sentence fragments.
(5) When dangling, watch your participles.
(6) Verbs has got to agree with their subjects.
(7) Just between you and i, case is important.
(8) Don't write run-on sentences when they are hard to read.
(9) Don't use commas, which aren't necessary.
(10) Try to not ever split infinitives.
(11) It is important to use your apostrophe's correctly.
(12) Proofread your writing to see if you any words out.
(13) Correct speling is essential.
(14) A preposition is something you never end a sentence with.
(15) While a transcendant vocabulary is laudable, one must be eternally
careful so that the calculated objective of communication does not
become ensconsed in obscurity. In other words, eschew obfuscation.
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Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my
teacher was in my class for five years.
-- George Burns
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Some scholars are like donkeys, they merely carry a lot of books.
-- Folk saying