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Two peanuts were walking through the New York. One was assaulted.
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Vegetables are what food eats.
Fruit are vegetables that fool you by tasting good.
Fish are fast moving vegetables.
Mushrooms are what grows on vegetables when food's done with them.
-- Meat Eater's Credo, according to Jim Williams
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Vegeterians beware! You are what you eat.
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Waiter: "Tea or coffee, gentlemen?"
1st customer: "I'll have tea."
2nd customer: "Me, too -- and be sure the glass is clean!"
(Waiter exits, returns)
Waiter: "Two teas. Which one asked for the clean glass?"
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Wake up and smell the coffee.
-- Ann Landers
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What foods these morsels be!
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What is food to one, is to others bitter poison.
-- Titus Lucretius Carus
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What is important is food, money and opportunities for scoring off one's
enemies. Give a man these three things and you won't hear much squawking
out of him.
-- Brian O'Nolan, "The Best of Myles"
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When a person goes on a diet, the first thing he loses is his temper.
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When all else fails, EAT!!!