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fortune: 105 - 114 of 133 from linux ms fortunes
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Sep 22, 2017
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Fortune: 105 - 114 of 133 from Linux Ms Fortunes

Linux Ms Fortunes:  105 of 133

Is that a 286 or are you just running Windows?
 
Linux Ms Fortunes:  106 of 133

Bill Gates and Steve Jobs were playing a friendly game of Frisbee at the Gates
estate on the shore of Lake Washington. At one point, Bill accidentally sends
the Frisbee over Steve's head, and the Frisbee lands in the lake. Steve walks
out onto the surface of the lake and retrieves the Frisbee.
The next day the newspapers report:
   Gates' Throw Exceeds Expectations
   Apple CEO Unable to Swim
 
Linux Ms Fortunes:  107 of 133

Q: How do you fix all Windows bugs at once?
A: Type DELTREE C:WINDOWS
 
Linux Ms Fortunes:  108 of 133

Q: What is the difference between Jurassic Park and Microsoft?
A: One is an over-rated high tech theme park based on prehistoric information
   and populated mostly by dinosaurs, the other is a Steven Spielberg movie.
 
Linux Ms Fortunes:  109 of 133

Q: What's the difference between Windows 95 and a highly destructive virus?
A: About 300 MB of hard disk space.
 
Linux Ms Fortunes:  110 of 133

Q: How many Microsoft support staff does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Four. One to ask "What is the registration number of the light bulb?", one
   to ask "Have you tried rebooting it?", another to ask "Have you tried
   reinstalling it?" and the last one to say "It must be your hardware because
   the light bulb in our office works fine..."
 
Linux Ms Fortunes:  111 of 133

Q: How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?
A: We can see no need for uninstallation and have therefore made no provision
   for light bulbs to be removed.
 
Linux Ms Fortunes:  112 of 133

Q: How many Microsoft tech writers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Twelve. One to work the bulb, and eleven to write a 1,123 page guide to
   changing lightbulbs ("Learn Lightbulb Management in 21 Days").
 
Linux Ms Fortunes:  113 of 133

Q: Why is Microsoft's Product Support a failure?
A: Because Microsoft needs a Support Group instead.
 
Linux Ms Fortunes:  114 of 133

Q: What's another name for the "Intel Inside" sticker they put on Pentiums?
A: Warning label.
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