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Carelessly planned projects take three times longer to complete than expected.
Carefully planned projects take four times longer to complete than expected,
mostly because the planners expect their planning to reduce the time it takes.
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Chairman of the Bored.
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Column 1 Column 2 Column 3
0. integrated 0. management 0. options
1. total 1. organizational 1. flexibility
2. systematized 2. monitored 2. capability
3. parallel 3. reciprocal 3. mobility
4. functional 4. digital 4. programming
5. responsive 5. logistical 5. concept
6. optional 6. transitional 6. time-phase
7. synchronized 7. incremental 7. projection
8. compatible 8. third-generation 8. hardware
9. balanced 9. policy 9. contingency
The procedure is simple. Think of any three-digit number, then select
the corresponding buzzword from each column. For instance, number 257 produces
"systematized logistical projection," a phrase that can be dropped into
virtually any report with that ring of decisive, knowledgeable authority. "No
one will have the remotest idea of what you're talking about," says Broughton,
"but the important thing is that they're not about to admit it."
-- Philip Broughton, "How to Win at Wordsmanship"
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Committees have become so important nowadays that subcommittees have to
be appointed to do the work.
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Competence, like truth, beauty, and contact lenses, is in the eye of
-- Dr. Laurence J. Peter
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Competitive fury is not always anger. It is the true missionary's courage
and zeal in facing the possibility that one's best may not be enough.
-- Gene Scott
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... [concerning quotation marks] even if we *___did* quote anybody in this
business, it probably would be gibberish.
-- Thom McLeod
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"Consequences, Schmonsequences, as long as I'm rich."
-- "Ali Baba Bunny" [1957, Chuck Jones]
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Consider the postage stamp: its usefulness consists in the ability to
stick to one thing till it gets there.
-- Josh Billings
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Consultants are mystical people who ask a company for a number and then
give it back to them.