Linux Humorists
fortune: 75 - 84 of 196 from linux humorists
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Linux Humorists

Fortune: 75 - 84 of 196 from Linux Humorists

Linux Humorists:  75 of 196

I just got out of the hospital after a speed reading accident.
I hit a bookmark.
                -- Steven Wright
 
Linux Humorists:  76 of 196

I know the answer!  The answer lies within the heart of all mankind!
The answer is twelve?  I think I'm in the wrong building.
                -- Charles Schulz
 
Linux Humorists:  77 of 196

I look at life as being cruise director on the Titanic.  I may not get
there, but I'm going first class.
                -- Art Buchwald
 
Linux Humorists:  78 of 196

"I love Saturday morning cartoons, what classic humour!  This is what
entertainment is all about ... Idiots, explosives and falling anvils."
                -- Calvin and Hobbes, Bill Watterson
 
Linux Humorists:  79 of 196

I met my latest girl friend in a department store.  She was looking at
clothes, and I was putting Slinkys on the escalators.
                -- Steven Wright
 
Linux Humorists:  80 of 196

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.
                -- Groucho Marx
 
Linux Humorists:  81 of 196

I poured spot remover on my dog.  Now he's gone.
                -- Steven Wright
 
Linux Humorists:  82 of 196

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes.  They had little pictures of cats
on them.  Then I took one out and he ran around in circles.
                -- Steven Wright
 
Linux Humorists:  83 of 196

I put instant coffee in a microwave and almost went back in time.
                -- Steven Wright
 
Linux Humorists:  84 of 196

        "I said I hope it is a good party," said Galder, loudly.
        "AT THE MOMENT IT IS," said Death levelly.  "I THINK IT MIGHT GO
DOWNHILL VERY QUICKLY AT MIDNIGHT."
        "Why?"
        "THAT'S WHEN THEY THINK I'LL BE TAKING MY MASK OFF."
                -- Terry Pratchett, "The Light Fantastic"
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