Linux Humorists
fortune: 101 - 110 of 196 from linux humorists
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Linux Humorists

Fortune: 101 - 110 of 196 from Linux Humorists

Linux Humorists:  101 of 196

I was the best I ever had.
                -- Woody Allen
 
Linux Humorists:  102 of 196

"I went into a general store, and they wouldn't sell me anything specific".
                -- Steven Wright
 
Linux Humorists:  103 of 196

"I went to a job interview the other day, the guy asked me if I had any
questions , I said yes, just one, if you're in a car traveling at the
speed of light and you turn your headlights on, does anything happen?

He said he couldn't answer that, I told him sorry, but I couldn't work
for him then.
                -- Steven Wright
 
Linux Humorists:  104 of 196

"I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the
statues that are in all the other museums."
                -- Steven Wright
 
Linux Humorists:  105 of 196

I woke up this morning and discovered that everything in my apartment
had been stolen and replaced with an exact replica.  I told my roommate,
"Isn't this amazing?  Everything in the apartment has been stolen and
replaced with an exact replica."  He said, "Do I know you?"
                -- Steven Wright
 
Linux Humorists:  106 of 196

I worked in a health food store once.  A guy came in and asked me,
"If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?"
                -- Steven Wright
 
Linux Humorists:  107 of 196

I'd horsewhip you if I had a horse.
                -- Groucho Marx
 
Linux Humorists:  108 of 196

I'D LIKE TO BE BURIED INDIAN-STYLE, where they put you up on a high rack,
above the ground.  That way, you could get hit by meteorites and not even
feel it.
                -- Jack Handley, The New Mexican, 1988.
 
Linux Humorists:  109 of 196

I'd never join any club that would have the likes of me as a member.
                -- Groucho Marx
 
Linux Humorists:  110 of 196

I'll be comfortable on the couch.  Famous last words.
                -- Lenny Bruce
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