Linux Humorists
fortune: 161 - 170 of 196 from linux humorists
Motd - Message of the Day
Humor, Quotes, Proverbs, Aphorisms... Ji Funda Jo Hai  
Daily Fortunes Feed Subscribe - Daily Fortunes - motd.ambians.com
Daily fortunes for your site
Nov 23, 2017
Motd Home     Daily Fortunes     Best of Fortunes     Worst of Fortunes

Linux Humorists

Fortune: 161 - 170 of 196 from Linux Humorists

Linux Humorists:  161 of 196

The best cure for insomnia is to get a  lot of sleep.
                -- W. C. Fields
 
Linux Humorists:  162 of 196

The best way to make a fire with two sticks is to make sure one of them
is a match.
                -- Will Rogers
 
Linux Humorists:  163 of 196

The buffalo isn't as dangerous as everyone makes him out to be.
Statistics prove that in the United States more Americans are killed in
automobile accidents than are killed by buffalo.
                -- Art Buchwald
 
Linux Humorists:  164 of 196

The grand leap of the whale up the Fall of Niagara is esteemed, by all
who have seen it, as one of the finest spectacles in nature.
                -- Benjamin Franklin.
 
Linux Humorists:  165 of 196

        The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy has a few things to say on
the subject of towels.
        Most importantly, a towel has immense psychological value.  For
some reason, if a non-hitchhiker discovers that a hitchhiker has his towel
with him, he will automatically assume that he is also in possession of a
toothbrush, washcloth, flask, gnat spray, space suit, etc., etc.  Furthermore,
the non-hitchhiker will then happily lend the hitchhiker any of these or
a dozen other items that he may have "lost".  After all, any man who can
hitch the length and breadth of the Galaxy, struggle against terrible odds,
win through and still know where his towel is, is clearly a man to be
reckoned with.
                -- Douglas Adams, "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"
 
Linux Humorists:  166 of 196

The other day I... uh, no, that wasn't me.
                -- Steven Wright
 
Linux Humorists:  167 of 196

        "The pyramid is opening!"
        "Which one?"
        "The one with the ever-widening hole in it!"
                -- Firesign Theater, "How Can You Be In Two Places At
                   Once When You're Not Anywhere At All"
 
Linux Humorists:  168 of 196

                The Three Major Kind of Tools

* Tools for hittings things to make them loose or to tighten them up or
jar their many complex, sophisticated electrical parts in such a
manner that they function perfectly.  (These are your hammers, maces,
bludgeons, and truncheons.)

* Tools that, if dropped properly, can penetrate your foot.  (Awls)

* Tools that nobody should ever use because the potential danger is far
greater than the value of any project that could possibly result.
(Power saws, power drills, power staplers, any kind of tool that uses
any kind of power more advanced than flashlight batteries.)
                -- Dave Barry, "The Taming of the Screw"
 
Linux Humorists:  169 of 196

There comes a time in the affairs of a man when he has to take the bull
by the tail and face the situation.
                -- W.C. Fields
 
Linux Humorists:  170 of 196

There's no easy quick way out, we're gonna have to live through our
whole lives, win, lose, or draw.
                -- Walt Kelly
« Prev Random Linux Humorists   Next »
« Prev  1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  11  12  13  14  15  16  17  18  19  20  Next »
Search [help]

About  |  Contact Us  |  Terms of Use  |  Privacy & Disclosure
FreeBsd Quotes  |  Linux Quotes