Linux Kids
fortune: 1 - 10 of 150 from linux kids
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Jul 21, 2017
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Linux Kids

Fortune: 1 - 10 of 150 from Linux Kids

Linux Kids:  1 of 150

A baby is an alimentary canal with a loud voice at one end and no
responsibility at the other.
 
Linux Kids:  2 of 150

A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on.
                -- Carl Sandburg
 
Linux Kids:  3 of 150

A child of five could understand this!  Fetch me a child of five.
 
Linux Kids:  4 of 150

A kid'll eat the middle of an Oreo, eventually.
 
Linux Kids:  5 of 150

A little kid went up to Santa and asked him, "Santa, you know when I'm bad
right?"  And Santa says, "Yes, I do."  The little kid then asks, "And you
know when I'm sleeping?" To which Santa replies, "Every minute." So the
little kid then says, "Well, if you know when I'm bad and when I'm good,
then how come you don't know what I want for Christmas?"
 
Linux Kids:  6 of 150

        A young married couple had their first child.  Their original pride
and joy slowly turned to concern however, for after a couple of years the
child had never uttered any form of speech.  They hired the best speech
therapists, doctors, psychiatrists, all to no avail.  The child simply refused
to speak.  One morning when the child was five, while the husband was reading
the paper, and the wife was feeding the dog, the little kid looks up from
his bowl and said, "My cereal's cold."
        The couple is stunned.  The man, in tears, confronts his son.  "Son,
after all these years, why have you waited so long to say something?".
        Shrugs the kid, "Everything's been okay 'til now".
 
Linux Kids:  7 of 150

About the only thing we have left that actually discriminates in favor of
the plain people is the stork.
 
Linux Kids:  8 of 150

Adam and Eve had many advantages, but the principal one was, that they escaped
teething.
                -- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"
 
Linux Kids:  9 of 150

Adopted kids are such a pain -- you have to teach them how to look like you ...
                -- Gilda Radner
 
Linux Kids:  10 of 150

        After watching an extremely attractive maternity-ward patient
earnestly thumbing her way through a telephone directory for several
minutes, a hospital orderly finally asked if he could be of some help.
        "No, thanks," smiled the young mother, "I'm just looking for a
name for my baby."
        "But the hospital supplies a special booklet that lists hundreds
of first names and their meanings," said the orderly.
        "That won't help," said the woman, "my baby already has a first name."
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