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Fertility is hereditary. If your parents didn't have any children,
neither will you.
|Linux Kids: 37 of 150|
For adult education nothing beats children.
|Linux Kids: 38 of 150|
For children with short attention spans: boomerangs that don't come back.
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FORTUNE REMEMBERS THE GREAT MOTHERS: #5
"And, and, and, and, but, but, but, but!"
-- Mrs. Janice Markowsky, April 8, 1965
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FORTUNE REMEMBERS THE GREAT MOTHERS: #6
"Johnny, if you fall and break your leg, don't come running to me!"
-- Mrs. Emily Barstow, June 16, 1954
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Get Revenge! Live long enough to be a problem for your children!
|Linux Kids: 42 of 150|
-- Gifts for Children --
This is easy. You never have to figure out what to get for children,
because they will tell you exactly what they want. They spend months and
months researching these kinds of things by watching Saturday- morning
cartoon-show advertisements. Make sure you get your children exactly what
they ask for, even if you disapprove of their choices. If your child thinks
he wants Murderous Bob, the Doll with the Face You Can Rip Right Off, you'd
better get it. You may be worried that it might help to encourage your
child's antisocial tendencies, but believe me, you have not seen antisocial
tendencies until you've seen a child who is convinced that he or she did not
get the right gift.
-- Dave Barry, "Christmas Shopping: A Survivor's Guide"
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Give a small boy a hammer and he will find that everything he encounters
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Give your child mental blocks for Christmas.
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Having children is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain.
-- Martin Mull