Linux Kids
fortune: 33 - 42 of 150 from linux kids
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Linux Kids

Fortune: 33 - 42 of 150 from Linux Kids

Linux Kids:  33 of 150

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling
the walk before it stops snowing.
                -- Phyllis Diller

There is no need to do any housework at all.  After the first four years
the dirt doesn't get any worse.
                -- Quentin Crisp
 
Linux Kids:  34 of 150

Delusions are often functional. A mother's opinions about her children's
beauty, intelligence, goodness, et cetera ad nauseam, keep her from drowning
them at birth.
 
Linux Kids:  35 of 150

Do not handicap your children by making their lives easy.
                -- Robert Heinlein
 
Linux Kids:  36 of 150

Fertility is hereditary.  If your parents didn't have any children,
neither will you.
 
Linux Kids:  37 of 150

For adult education nothing beats children.
 
Linux Kids:  38 of 150

For children with short attention spans: boomerangs that don't come back.
 
Linux Kids:  39 of 150

FORTUNE REMEMBERS THE GREAT MOTHERS: #5

        "And, and, and, and, but, but, but, but!"
                -- Mrs. Janice Markowsky, April 8, 1965
 
Linux Kids:  40 of 150

FORTUNE REMEMBERS THE GREAT MOTHERS: #6

        "Johnny, if you fall and break your leg, don't come running to me!"
                -- Mrs. Emily Barstow, June 16, 1954
 
Linux Kids:  41 of 150

Get Revenge!  Live long enough to be a problem for your children!
 
Linux Kids:  42 of 150

                        -- Gifts for Children --

This is easy.  You never have to figure out what to get for children,
because they will tell you exactly what they want.  They spend months and
months researching these kinds of things by watching Saturday- morning
cartoon-show advertisements.  Make sure you get your children exactly what
they ask for, even if you disapprove of their choices.  If your child thinks
he wants Murderous Bob, the Doll with the Face You Can Rip Right Off, you'd
better get it.  You may be worried that it might help to encourage your
child's antisocial tendencies, but believe me, you have not seen antisocial
tendencies until you've seen a child who is convinced that he or she did not
get the right gift.
                -- Dave Barry, "Christmas Shopping: A Survivor's Guide"
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