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Apr 18, 2024

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Welcome to Motd

Message of the day, also known as "fortunes" or "fortune cookies", derived from various FreeBSD and Linux sources.

Have a phrase/quote/joke in mind but only remember something somewhat vaguely? The search box (left) may yield some pleasant surprises.

A staple for Unix/Linux users for decades, but largely unknown to the public, it's hard to describe this incredible collection. Not only

amusing, arch, facetious, pithy, humorous, ironic, jocose, keen, satirical, sharp, smart, taunting, witty, biting ...

the collection is also a fascinating view of the cultural history of the computer, priesthood and users, through the Unix looking glass.

Enjoy! and don't forget to vote for your favorite "Best" and "Worst" of Fortunes.

Advisory: Occasional strong language. Discretion advised specially for the Limericks.

Today's Fortunes

Apr 18, 2024

1/2 oz. gin 1/2 oz. vodka 1/2 oz. rum (preferably dark) 3/4 oz...
1/2 oz. gin 1/2 oz. vodka 1/2 oz. rum (preferably dark) 3/4 oz. tequilla 1/2 oz. triple sec 1/2 oz. orange juice 3/4 oz. sour mix 1/2 oz. cola shake with ice and strain into frosted glass. Long Island Iced Tea

6 oz. orange juice 1 oz. vodka 1/2 oz. Galliano ...
6 oz. orange juice 1 oz. vodka 1/2 oz. Galliano Harvey Wallbangers

A beer delayed is a beer denied.
A beer delayed is a beer denied.

A couple more shots of whiskey, women 'round here start looking...
A couple more shots of whiskey, women 'round here start looking good. [something about a 10 being a 4 after a six-pack? Ed.]

A guy walks into a bar, orders a beer, carries it to...
A guy walks into a bar, orders a beer, carries it to the bathroom and dumps it into a urinal. Over the course of the next few hours, he goes back to the bar and repeats this sequence -- several times. Finally the bartender got so curious that he leaned over the bar...

Daily Fortunes for Apr 18, 2024 (today)

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