Linux Men Women

Him:    "Your skin is so soft.  Are you a model?"
Her:    "No,"  [blush]  "I'm a cosmetologist."
Him:    "Really? That's incredible... It must be very tough to handle
        weightlessness."
                -- "The Jerk"

His designs were strictly honourable, as the phrase is: that is, to rob
a lady of her fortune by way of marriage.
                -- Henry Fielding, "Tom Jones"

"Home, Sweet Home" must surely have been written by a bachelor.
                -- Samuel Butler

Horace's best ode would not please a young woman as much as the mediocre
verses of the young man she is in love with.
                -- Moore

How much for your women?  I want to buy your daughter... how much for
the little girl?
                -- Jake Blues, "The Blues Brothers"

        "How would I know if I believe in love at first sight?" the sexy
social climber said to her roommate.  "I mean, I've never seen a Porsche
full of money before."

I am very fond of the company of ladies.  I like their beauty,
I like their delicacy, I like their vivacity, and I like their silence.
                -- Samuel Johnson

I began many years ago, as so many young men do, in searching for the
perfect woman.  I believed that if I looked long enough, and hard enough,
I would find her and then I would be secure for life.  Well, the years
and romances came and went, and I eventually ended up settling for someone
a lot less than my idea of perfection.  But one day, after many years
together, I lay there on our bed recovering from a slight illness.  My
wife was sitting on a chair next to the bed, humming softly and watching
the late afternoon sun filtering through the trees.  The only sounds to
be heard elsewhere were the clock ticking, the kettle downstairs starting
to boil, and an occasional schoolchild passing beneath our window.  And
as I looked up into my wife's now wrinkled face, but still warm and
twinkling eyes, I realized something about perfection...  It comes only
with time.
                -- James L. Collymore, "Perfect Woman"

I believe a little incompatibility is the spice of life, particularly if he
has income and she is pattable.
                -- Ogden Nash

I can feel for her because, although I have never been an Alaskan prostitute
dancing on the bar in a spangled dress, I still get very bored with washing
and ironing and dishwashing and cooking day after relentless day.
                -- Betty MacDonald