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Govern a great nation as you would cook a small fish. Don't overdo it.
-- Lao Tsu
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Government [is] an illusion the governed should not encourage.
-- John Updike, "Couples"
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Government lies, and newspapers lie, but in a democracy they are different lies.
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Government spending? I don't know what it's all about. I don't know
any more about this thing than an economist does, and, God knows, he
doesn't know much.
-- Will Rogers
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Graduating seniors, parents and friends...
Let me begin by reassuring you that my remarks today will stand up
to the most stringent requirements of the new appropriateness.
The intra-college sensitivity advisory committee has vetted the
text of even trace amounts of subconscious racism, sexism and classism.
Moreover, a faculty panel of deconstructionists have reconfigured
the rhetorical components within a post-structuralist framework, so as to
expunge any offensive elements of western rationalism and linear logic.
Finally, all references flowing from a white, male, eurocentric
perspective have been eliminated, as have any other ruminations deemed
denigrating to the political consensus of the moment.
Thank you and good luck.
-- Doonesbury, the University Chancellor's graduation speech.
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Great Moments in History: #3
August 27, 1949:
A Hall of Fame opened to honor outstanding members of the
Women's Air Corp. It was a WAC's Museum.
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Grover Cleveland, though constantly at loggerheads with the
Senate, got on better with the House of Representatives. A popular
story circulating during his presidency concerned the night he was
roused by his wife crying, "Wake up! I think there are burglars in the
"No, no, my dear," said the president sleepily, "in the Senate maybe,
but not in the House."
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Grub first, then ethics.
-- Bertolt Brecht
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Hark ye, Clinker, you are a most notorious offender. You stand convicted of
sickness, hunger, wretchedness, and want.
-- Tobias Smollet
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Has the great art and mystery of politics no apparent utility? Does it
appear to be unqualifiedly ratty, raffish, sordid, obscene and low down,
and its salient virtuosi a gang of umitigated scoundrels? Then let us
not forget its high capacity to soothe and tickel the midriff, its
incomparable services as a maker of entertainment.
-- H.L. Mencken, "A Carnival of Buncombe"