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Linux Random

Fortune: 235 - 244 of 1105 from Linux Definitions

Linux Definitions:  235 of 1105

Cruickshank's Law of Committees:
        If a committee is allowed to discuss a bad idea long enough, it
        will inevitably decide to implement the idea simply because so
        much work has already been done on it.
Linux Definitions:  236 of 1105

cursor address, n:
        "Hello, cursor!"
                -- Stan Kelly-Bootle, "The Devil's DP Dictionary"
Linux Definitions:  237 of 1105

Cursor, n.:
        One whose program will not run.
                -- Robb Russon
Linux Definitions:  238 of 1105

curtation, n.:
        The enforced compression of a string in the fixed-length field
        The problem of fitting extremely variable-length strings such as names,
addresses, and item descriptions into fixed-length records is no trivial
matter.  Neglect of the subtle art of curtation has probably alienated more
people than any other aspect of data processing.  You order Mozart's "Don
Giovanni" from your record club, and they invoice you $24.95 for MOZ DONG.
The witless mapping of the sublime onto the ridiculous!  Equally puzzling is
the curtation that produces the same eight characters, THE BEST, whether you
order "The Best of Wagner", "The Best of Schubert", or "The Best of the Turds".
Similarly, wine lovers buying from computerized wineries twirl their glasses,
check their delivery notes, and inform their friends, "A rather innocent,
possibly overtruncated CAB SAUV 69 TAL."  The squeezing of fruit into 10
columns has yielded such memorable obscenities as COX OR PIP.  The examples
cited are real, and the curtational methodology which produced them is still
with us.

        Curtation of Don Giovanni by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart and Lorenzo da
Ponte, as performed by the computerized billing ensemble of the Internat'l
Preview Society, Great Neck (sic), N.Y.
                -- Stan Kelly-Bootle, "The Devil's DP Dictionary"
Linux Definitions:  239 of 1105

Cutler Webster's Law:
        There are two sides to every argument, unless a person
        is personally involved, in which case there is only one.
Linux Definitions:  240 of 1105

Cynic, n.:
        A blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not
        as they ought to be.  Hence the custom among the Scythians of plucking
        out a cynic's eyes to improve his vision.
                -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
Linux Definitions:  241 of 1105

Cynic, n.:
Linux Definitions:  242 of 1105

Cynic, n.:
        One who looks through rose-colored glasses with a jaundiced eye.
Linux Definitions:  243 of 1105

Data, n.:
        An accrual of straws on the backs of theories.
Linux Definitions:  244 of 1105

Data, n.:
        Computerspeak for "information".  Properly pronounced
        the way Bostonians pronounce the word for a female child.
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