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fortune: 1 - 10 of 622 from linux science
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Linux Science

Fortune: 1 - 10 of 622 from Linux Science

Linux Science:  1 of 622

1 + 1 = 3, for large values of 1.
 
Linux Science:  2 of 622

1 Billion dollars of budget deficit             = 1 Gramm-Rudman
6.023 x 10 to the 23rd power alligator pears    = Avocado's number
2 pints                                         = 1 Cavort
Basic unit of Laryngitis                        = The Hoarsepower
Shortest distance between two jokes             = A straight line
6 Curses                                        = 1 Hexahex
3500 Calories                                   = 1 Food Pound
1 Mole                                          = 007 Secret Agents
1 Mole                                          = 25 Cagey Bees
1 Dog Pound                                     = 16 oz. of Alpo
1000 beers served at a Twins game               = 1 Killibrew
2.4 statute miles of surgical tubing at Yale U. = 1 I.V.League
2000 pounds of chinese soup                     = 1 Won Ton
10 to the minus 6th power mouthwashes           = 1 Microscope
Speed of a tortoise breaking the sound barrier  = 1 Machturtle
8 Catfish                                       = 1 Octo-puss
365 Days of drinking Lo-Cal beer.               = 1 Lite-year
16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone                  = 1 Rod Serling
Force needed to accelerate 2.2lbs of cookies    = 1 Fig-newton
        to 1 meter per second
One half large intestine                        = 1 Semicolon
10 to the minus 6th power Movie                 = 1 Microfilm
1000 pains                                      = 1 Megahertz
1 Word                                          = 1 Millipicture
1 Sagan                                         = Billions & Billions
1 Angstrom: measure of computer anxiety         = 1000 nail-bytes
10 to the 12th power microphones                = 1 Megaphone
10 to the 6th power Bicycles                    = 2 megacycles
The amount of beauty required launch 1 ship     = 1 Millihelen
 
Linux Science:  3 of 622

(1)     A sheet of paper is an ink-lined plane.
(2)     An inclined plane is a slope up.
(3)     A slow pup is a lazy dog.

QED: A sheet of paper is a lazy dog.
                -- Willard Espy, "An Almanac of Words at Play"
 
Linux Science:  4 of 622

(1) Alexander the Great was a great general.
(2) Great generals are forewarned.
(3) Forewarned is forearmed.
(4) Four is an even number.
(5) Four is certainly an odd number of arms for a man to have.
(6) The only number that is both even and odd is infinity.
        Therefore, all horses are black.
 
Linux Science:  5 of 622

(1) Alexander the Great was a great general.
(2) Great generals are forewarned.
(3) Forewarned is forearmed.
(4) Four is an even number.
(5) Four is certainly an odd number of arms for a man to have.
(6) The only number that is both even and odd is infinity.

Therefore, Alexander the Great had an infinite number of arms.
 
Linux Science:  6 of 622

(1) Never draw what you can copy.
(2) Never copy what you can trace.
(3) Never trace what you can cut out and paste down.
 
Linux Science:  7 of 622

(1) X=Y                         ; Given
(2) X^2=XY                      ; Multiply both sides by X
(3) X^2-Y^2=XY-Y^2              ; Subtract Y^2 from both sides
(4) (X+Y)(X-Y)=Y(X-Y)           ; Factor
(5) X+Y=Y                       ; Cancel out (X-Y) term
(6) 2Y=Y                        ; Substitute X for Y, by equation 1
(7) 2=1                         ; Divide both sides by Y
                -- "Omni", proof that 2 equals 1
 
Linux Science:  8 of 622

1.79 x 10^12 furlongs per fortnight -- it's not just a good idea, it's
the law!
 
Linux Science:  9 of 622

10.0 times 0.1 is hardly ever 1.0.
 
Linux Science:  10 of 622

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