Linux Science: 1 of 622 
1 + 1 = 3, for large values of 1.



Linux Science: 2 of 622 
1 Billion dollars of budget deficit = 1 GrammRudman
6.023 x 10 to the 23rd power alligator pears = Avocado's number
2 pints = 1 Cavort
Basic unit of Laryngitis = The Hoarsepower
Shortest distance between two jokes = A straight line
6 Curses = 1 Hexahex
3500 Calories = 1 Food Pound
1 Mole = 007 Secret Agents
1 Mole = 25 Cagey Bees
1 Dog Pound = 16 oz. of Alpo
1000 beers served at a Twins game = 1 Killibrew
2.4 statute miles of surgical tubing at Yale U. = 1 I.V.League
2000 pounds of chinese soup = 1 Won Ton
10 to the minus 6th power mouthwashes = 1 Microscope
Speed of a tortoise breaking the sound barrier = 1 Machturtle
8 Catfish = 1 Octopuss
365 Days of drinking LoCal beer. = 1 Liteyear
16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone = 1 Rod Serling
Force needed to accelerate 2.2lbs of cookies = 1 Fignewton
to 1 meter per second
One half large intestine = 1 Semicolon
10 to the minus 6th power Movie = 1 Microfilm
1000 pains = 1 Megahertz
1 Word = 1 Millipicture
1 Sagan = Billions & Billions
1 Angstrom: measure of computer anxiety = 1000 nailbytes
10 to the 12th power microphones = 1 Megaphone
10 to the 6th power Bicycles = 2 megacycles
The amount of beauty required launch 1 ship = 1 Millihelen




Linux Science: 3 of 622 
(1) A sheet of paper is an inklined plane.
(2) An inclined plane is a slope up.
(3) A slow pup is a lazy dog.
QED: A sheet of paper is a lazy dog.
 Willard Espy, "An Almanac of Words at Play"



Linux Science: 4 of 622 
(1) Alexander the Great was a great general.
(2) Great generals are forewarned.
(3) Forewarned is forearmed.
(4) Four is an even number.
(5) Four is certainly an odd number of arms for a man to have.
(6) The only number that is both even and odd is infinity.
Therefore, all horses are black.




Linux Science: 5 of 622 
(1) Alexander the Great was a great general.
(2) Great generals are forewarned.
(3) Forewarned is forearmed.
(4) Four is an even number.
(5) Four is certainly an odd number of arms for a man to have.
(6) The only number that is both even and odd is infinity.
Therefore, Alexander the Great had an infinite number of arms.



Linux Science: 6 of 622 
(1) Never draw what you can copy.
(2) Never copy what you can trace.
(3) Never trace what you can cut out and paste down.




Linux Science: 7 of 622 
(1) X=Y ; Given
(2) X^2=XY ; Multiply both sides by X
(3) X^2Y^2=XYY^2 ; Subtract Y^2 from both sides
(4) (X+Y)(XY)=Y(XY) ; Factor
(5) X+Y=Y ; Cancel out (XY) term
(6) 2Y=Y ; Substitute X for Y, by equation 1
(7) 2=1 ; Divide both sides by Y
 "Omni", proof that 2 equals 1



Linux Science: 8 of 622 
1.79 x 10^12 furlongs per fortnight  it's not just a good idea, it's
the law!




Linux Science: 9 of 622 
10.0 times 0.1 is hardly ever 1.0.



Linux Science: 10 of 622 
13. ... rq1

