Linux Sports
fortune: 32 - 41 of 147 from linux sports
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Feb 23, 2020
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Linux Sports

Fortune: 32 - 41 of 147 from Linux Sports

Linux Sports:  32 of 147

Football combines the two worst features of American life.
It is violence punctuated by committee meetings.
                -- George F. Will, "Men At Work:  The Craft of Baseball"
Linux Sports:  33 of 147

Football is a game designed to keep coalminers off the streets.
                -- Jimmy Breslin
Linux Sports:  34 of 147

Fortune finishes the great quotations, #15

        "Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses."
        And while you're at it, throw in a couple of those Dallas
        Cowboy cheerleaders.
Linux Sports:  35 of 147

        The Baby Ruth candy bar was not named after George Herman "The Babe"
Ruth, but after the oldest daughter of President Grover Cleveland.
Linux Sports:  36 of 147

From 0 to "what seems to be the problem officer" in 8.3 seconds.
                -- Ad for the new VW Corrado
Linux Sports:  37 of 147

George's friend Sam had a dog who could recite the Gettysburg Address.  "Let
me buy him from you," pleaded George after a demonstration.
        "Okay," agreed Sam.  "All he knows is that Lincoln speech anyway."
        At his company's Fourth of July picnic, George brought his new pet
and announced that the animal could recite the entire Gettysburg Address.
No one believed him, and they proceeded to place bets against the dog.
George quieted the crowd and said, "Now we'll begin!"  Then he looked at
the dog.  The dog looked back.  No sound.  "Come on, boy, do your stuff."
Nothing.  A disappointed George took his dog and went home.
        "Why did you embarrass me like that in front of everybody?" George
yelled at the dog.  "Do you realize how much money you lost me?"
        "Don't be silly, George," replied the dog.  "Think of the odds we're
gonna get on Labor Day."
Linux Sports:  38 of 147

Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day.  Teach a man to fish,
and he'll invite himself over for dinner.
                -- Calvin Keegan
Linux Sports:  39 of 147

Give me a fish and I will eat today.

Teach me to fish and I will eat forever.
Linux Sports:  40 of 147

Go directly to jail.  Do not pass Go, do not collect $200.
Linux Sports:  41 of 147

Harry is heavily into camping, and every year in the late fall, he makes us
all go to Assateague, which is an island on the Atlantic Ocean famous for
its wild horses.  I realize that the concept of wild horses probably stirs
romantic notions in many of you, but this is because you have never met any
wild horses in person.  In person, they are like enormous hooved rats.  They
amble up to your camp site, and their attitude is: "We're wild horses.
We're going to eat your food, knock down your tent and poop on your shoes.
We're protected by federal law, just like Richard Nixon."
                -- Dave Barry, "Tenting Grandpa Bob"
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