Freebsd Fortunes: 2706 of 3566 |
The basic menu item, in fact the ONLY menu item, would be a food unit
called the "patty," consisting of -- this would be guaranteed in
writing -- "100 percent animal matter of some kind." All patties would
be heated up and then cooled back down in electronic devices
immediately before serving. The Breakfast Patty would be a patty on a
bun with lettuce, tomato, onion, egg, Ba-Ko-Bits, Cheez Whiz, a Special
Sauce made by pouring ketchup out of a bottle and a little slip of
paper stating: "Inspected by Number 12". The Lunch or Dinner Patty
would be any Breakfast Patties that didn't get sold in the morning.
The Seafood Lover's Patty would be any patties that were starting to
emit a serious aroma. Patties that were too rank even to be Seafood
Lover's Patties would be compressed into wads and sold as "Nuggets."
-- Dave Barry, "'Mister Mediocre' Restaurants"
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Freebsd Fortunes: 2707 of 3566 |
The best book on programming for the layman is "Alice in Wonderland";
but that's because it's the best book on anything for the layman.
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Freebsd Fortunes: 2708 of 3566 |
The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.
-- W. C. Fields
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Freebsd Fortunes: 2709 of 3566 |
The best defense against logic is ignorance.
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Freebsd Fortunes: 2710 of 3566 |
The best thing about growing older is that it takes such a long time.
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Freebsd Fortunes: 2711 of 3566 |
"The best thing for being sad," replied Merlin, beginning to puff and
blow, "is to learn something. That's the only thing that never fails.
You may grow old and trembling in your anatomies, you may lie awake at
night listening to the disorder of your veins, you may miss your only
love, you may see the world about you devastated by evil lunatics, or
know your honour trampled in the sewers of baser minds. There is only
one thing for it then -- to learn. Learn why the world wags and what
wags it. That is the only thing which the mind can never exhaust,
never alienate, never be tortured by, never fear or distrust, and never
dream of regretting. Learning is the only thing for you. Look what a
lot of things there are to learn."
-- T.H. White, "The Once and Future King"
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Freebsd Fortunes: 2712 of 3566 |
The best way to make a fire with two sticks is to make sure one of them
is a match.
-- Will Rogers
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Freebsd Fortunes: 2713 of 3566 |
The bigger the theory the better.
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Freebsd Fortunes: 2714 of 3566 |
The biggest difference between time and space is that you can't reuse
time.
-- Merrick Furst
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Freebsd Fortunes: 2715 of 3566 |
The birds are singing, the flowers are budding, and it is time for Miss
Manners to tell young lovers to stop necking in public.
It's not that Miss Manners is immune to romance. Miss Manners has been
known to squeeze a gentleman's arm while being helped over a curb, and,
in her wild youth, even to press a dainty slipper against a foot or two
under the dinner table. Miss Manners also believes that the sight of
people strolling hand in hand or arm in arm or arm in hand dresses up a
city considerably more than the more familiar sight of people shaking
umbrellas at one another. What Miss Manners objects to is the kind of
activity that frightens the horses on the street ...
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