Freebsd Fortunes: 3414 of 3566 |
"Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?"
-- Lily Tomlin
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Freebsd Fortunes: 3415 of 3566 |
"Why must you tell me all your secrets when it's hard enough to love
you knowing nothing?"
-- Lloyd Cole and the Commotions
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Freebsd Fortunes: 3416 of 3566 |
Why not have an old-fashioned Christmas for your family this year?
Just picture the scene in your living room on Christmas morning as your
children open their old-fashioned presents.
Your 11-year-old son: "What the heck is this?"
You: "A spinning top! You spin it around, and then eventually it
falls down. What fun! Ha, ha!"
Son: "Is this a joke? Jason Thompson's parents got him a computer
with two disk drives and 128 kilobytes of random-access memory,
and I get this cretin TOP?"
Your 8-year-old daughter: "You think that's bad? Look at this."
You: "It's figgy pudding! What a treat!"
Daughter: "It looks like goat barf."
-- Dave Barry, "Simple, Homespun Gifts"
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Freebsd Fortunes: 3417 of 3566 |
"Why was I born with such contemporaries?"
-- Oscar Wilde
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Freebsd Fortunes: 3418 of 3566 |
Why You Can't Run When There's Trouble in the Office:
No matter where you stand, no matter how far or fast you flee,
when it hits the fan, as much as possible will be propelled in your
direction, and almost none will be returned to the source.
-- John L. Shelton
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Freebsd Fortunes: 3419 of 3566 |
Wiker's Law:
Government expands to absorb revenue and then some.
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Freebsd Fortunes: 3420 of 3566 |
Williams and Holland's Law:
If enough data is collected, anything may be proven by
statistical methods.
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Freebsd Fortunes: 3421 of 3566 |
Winter is the season in which people try to keep the house as warm as
it was in the summer, when they complained about the heat.
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Freebsd Fortunes: 3422 of 3566 |
Wit, n.:
The salt with which the American Humorist spoils his cookery
... by leaving it out.
-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
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Freebsd Fortunes: 3423 of 3566 |
With a gentleman I try to be a gentleman and a half, and with a fraud I
try to be a fraud and a half.
-- Otto von Bismark
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