Freebsd Fortunes

Top 10 things likely to be overheard if you had a Klingon Programmer:

10) Specifications are for the weak and timid!
 9) You question the worthiness of my code?  I should kill you where you stand!
 8) Indentation?! - I will show you how to indent when I indent your skull!
 7) What is this talk of 'release'?  Klingons do not make software 'releases'.
    Our software 'escapes' leaving a bloody trail of designers and quality
    assurance people in its wake.
 6) Klingon function calls do not have 'parameters' - they have 'arguments'
     - and they ALWAYS WIN THEM.
 5) Debugging?  Klingons do not debug.  Our software does not coddle the weak.
 4) A TRUE Klingon Warrior does not comment his code!
 3) Klingon software does NOT have BUGS.  It has FEATURES, and those features
    are too sophisticated for a Romulan pig like you to understand.
 2) You cannot truly appreciate Dilbert unless you've read it in the
    original Klingon.
 1) Our users will know fear and cower before our software!  Ship it!  Ship
    it and let them flee like the dogs they are!

Top scientists agree that with the present rate of consumption, the
earth's supply of gravity will be exhausted before the 24th century.
As man struggles to discover cheaper alternatives, we need your help.
Please...

                        CONSERVE GRAVITY

Follow these simple suggestions:

(1)  Walk with a light step.  Carry helium balloons if possible.
(2)  Use tape, magnets, or glue instead of paperweights.
(3)  Give up skiing and skydiving for more horizontal sports like
     curling.
(4)  Avoid showers .. take baths instead.
(5)  Don't hang all your clothes in the closet ... Keep them in one big
     pile.
(6)  Stop flipping pancakes

Travel important today; Internal Revenue men arrive tomorrow.

Troubled day for virgins over 16 who are beautiful, wealthy, and live
in eucalyptus trees.

Truly great madness can not be achieved without significant
intelligence.
                -- Henrik Tikkanen

Truth is the most valuable thing we have -- so let us economize it.
                -- Mark Twain

Truth will be out this morning.  (Which may really mess things up.)

Truthful, adj.:
        Dumb and illiterate.
                -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"

Try not to have a good time ... This is supposed to be educational.
                -- Charles Schulz

Try to be the best of whatever you are, even if what you are is no
good.