Freebsd Fortunes: 664 of 3566 |
Celestial navigation is based on the premise that the Earth is the
center of the universe. The premise is wrong, but the navigation
works. An incorrect model can be a useful tool.
-- Kelvin Throop III
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Freebsd Fortunes: 665 of 3566 |
Census Taker to Housewife: Did you ever have the measles, and, if so,
how many?
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Freebsd Fortunes: 666 of 3566 |
Cerebus: I'd love to lick apricot brandy out of your navel.
Jaka: Look, Cerebus-- Jaka has to tell you ... something
Cerebus: If Cerebus had a navel, would you lick apricot brandy
out of it?
Jaka: Ugh!
Cerebus: You don't like apricot brandy?
-- Cerebus #6, "The Secret"
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Freebsd Fortunes: 667 of 3566 |
Certain old men prefer to rise at dawn, taking a cold bath and a long
walk with an empty stomach and otherwise mortifying the flesh. They
then point with pride to these practices as the cause of their sturdy
health and ripe years; the truth being that they are hearty and old,
not because of their habits, but in spite of them. The reason we find
only robust persons doing this thing is that it has killed all the
others who have tried it.
-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
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Freebsd Fortunes: 668 of 3566 |
Certainly there are things in life that money can't buy, but it's very funny--
Did you ever try buying them without money?
-- Ogden Nash
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Freebsd Fortunes: 669 of 3566 |
Character Density, n.:
The number of very weird people in the office.
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Freebsd Fortunes: 670 of 3566 |
Checkuary, n.:
The thirteenth month of the year. Begins New Year's Day and
ends when a person stops absentmindedly writing the old year on his
checks.
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Freebsd Fortunes: 671 of 3566 |
Chef, n.:
Any cook who swears in French.
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Freebsd Fortunes: 672 of 3566 |
Chemicals, n.:
Noxious substances from which modern foods are made.
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Freebsd Fortunes: 673 of 3566 |
Chemistry is applied theology.
-- Augustus Stanley Owsley III
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