Freebsd Fortunes 3

FORTUNE DISCUSSES THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN:        #6

Bathrooms:
        A man has six items in his bathroom -- a toothbrush, toothpaste,
shaving cream, razor, a bar of Dial soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 437.  A man
would not be able to identify most of these items.

Groceries:
        A woman makes a list of things she needs and then goes to the store
and buys these things.  A man waits 'til the only items left in his fridge
are half a lime and a Blue Ribbon.  Then he goes grocery shopping.  He buys
everything that looks good.  By the time a man reaches the checkout counter,
his cart is packed tighter that the Clampett's car on Beverly Hillbillies.
Of course, this will not stop him from entering the 10-items-or-less lane.

FORTUNE DISCUSSES THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN:        #8

Going Out:
        When a man says he is ready to go out, it means he is ready to go
out.  When a woman says she is ready to go out, it means she WILL be ready
to go out, as soon as she finds her earring, finishes putting on her makeup,
checks on the kids, makes a phone call to her best friend...

Cats:
        Women love cats.  Men say they love cats, but when women aren't
looking, men kick cats.

Offspring:
        Ah, children.  A woman knows all about her children.  She knows
about dentist appointments and soccer games and romances and best friends
and favorite foods and secret fears and hopes and dreams.  Men are vaguely
aware of some short people living in the house.

FORTUNE DISCUSSES THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN:        #9

Laundry:
        Women do laundry every couple of days.  A man will wear every article
of clothing he owns, including his surgical pants that were hip about eight
years ago, before he will do his laundry.  When he is finally out of clothes,
he will wear a dirty sweatshirt inside out, rent a U-Haul and take his mountain
of clothes to the laundromat.  Men always expect to meet beautiful women at
the laundromat.  This is a myth.

Nicknames:
        If Gloria, Suzanne, Deborah and Michelle get together for lunch,
they will call each other Gloria, Suzanne, Deborah and Michelle.  But if
Mike, Dave, Rob and Jack go out for a brewsky, they will affectionately
refer to each other as Bullet-Head, Godzilla, Peanut Brain and Useless.

Socks:
        Men wear sensible socks.  They wear standard white sweatsocks.
Women wear strange socks.  They are cut way below the ankles, have pictures
of clouds on them, and have a big fuzzy ball on the back.

FORTUNE DISCUSSES THE OBSCURE FILMS: #10

CARTABLANCA:
        Bogart stars as the owner of a north african nightclub that sells
        only Mexican beer.  Of course, this policy gets him into no end of
        trouble with the local French authorities who would really prefer
        wine and the occupying Germans who believe that only their beer is
        fit to be sold.  Wacky events ensue until the gripping climax in
        which the much-hated German beer distributer is drowned in a vat.

FORTUNE DISCUSSES THE OBSCURE FILMS: #11

MONOPOLI:
        Peter Weir's classic film examining the false heroism of parlour
        games.  The powerful ending of the film sees one young man after
        another charge toward GO, only to senselessly lose his life on the
        Boardwalk property.

FORTUNE DISCUSSES THE OBSCURE FILMS: #12

O.E.D.:                         David Lean, 1969, 3 hours 30 min.

        Lean's version of the Oxford Dictionary has been accused of
        shallowness in its treatment of a complete work.  Omar Sharif
        tends to overact as aardvark, but Alec Guiness is solid in
        the role of abbacy.  As usual, the photography is stunning.
        With Julie Christie.

FORTUNE DISCUSSES THE OBSCURE FILMS: #3

MIRACLE ON 42ND STREET:
        Santa Claus, in the off season, follows his heart's desire and
        tries to make it big on Broadway.  Santa sings and dances his way
        into your heart.

FORTUNE DISCUSSES THE OBSCURE FILMS: #4

WITLESS:
        Peter Weir directs Sylvester Stallone in the most challenging role
        of his career.  Stallone plays a Philadelphia police officer on the
        run from corrupt officials.  He is wounded and then nursed back to
        health by Amish Mennonites.  Fearful that they might unwittingly
        reveal his hiding place, he blows them all away.

FORTUNE DISCUSSES THE OBSCURE FILMS: #5

THE ATOMIC GRANDMOTHER:
        This humorous but heart-warming story tells of an elderly woman
        forced to work at a nuclear power plant in order to help the family
        make ends meet.  At night, granny sits on the porch, tells tales
        of her colorful past, and the family uses her to cook barbecues
        and to power small electrical appliances.  Maureen Stapleton gives
        a glowing performance.

FORTUNE DISCUSSES THE OBSCURE FILMS: #6

RAZORBACK:                      Paul Harbride, 1984, 2 hours 25 min.
        One of the great Australian films of the early 1980's,
        and arguably the best movie ever made about a large,
        man-eating hog.  Some violence.  With Gregory Harrison.