Freebsd Fortunes 3

FORTUNE DISCUSSES THE OBSCURE FILMS: #5

THE ATOMIC GRANDMOTHER:
        This humorous but heart-warming story tells of an elderly woman
        forced to work at a nuclear power plant in order to help the family
        make ends meet.  At night, granny sits on the porch, tells tales
        of her colorful past, and the family uses her to cook barbecues
        and to power small electrical appliances.  Maureen Stapleton gives
        a glowing performance.

FORTUNE DISCUSSES THE OBSCURE FILMS: #6

RAZORBACK:                      Paul Harbride, 1984, 2 hours 25 min.
        One of the great Australian films of the early 1980's,
        and arguably the best movie ever made about a large,
        man-eating hog.  Some violence.  With Gregory Harrison.

FORTUNE DISCUSSES THE OBSCURE FILMS: #7

OUT OF "OUT OF AFRICA":
        This film is a compilation of selected news clips depicting audiences
        frantically pushing and shoving to get out of theatres where "Out of
        Africa" is showing.  Many people are trampled to death in the frenzy.
        Due to its violence and offensive language, not recommended for
        younger viewers.

FORTUNE DISCUSSES THE OBSCURE FILMS: #8

THE SMURFS AND THE CUISINART (1986)
        The lovable little blue Smurfs encounter a lovable little kitchen
        appliance, which invites them to play.  The Smurfs learn a valuable
        (if sometimes fatal) lesson.

THE SMURFS AND THE CARBON-DIOXIDE INDUSTRIAL LASER (1987)
        The inevitable sequel.  The lovable and somewhat mangled surviving
        Smurfs team up with the Care Bears to encounter a cute, lovable piece
        of high-tech welding equipment, which teaches them the magic of
        becoming rather greasy smoke.  Heartwarming fun for the entire family.

FORTUNE DISCUSSES THE OBSCURE FILMS: #9

THE PARKING PROBLEM IN PARIS:   Jean-Luc Godard, 1971, 7 hours 18 min.

        Godard's meditation on the topic has been described as
        everything from "timeless" to "endless."  (Remade by Gene
        Wilder as NO PLACE TO PARK.)

Fortune Documents the Great Legal Decisions:

It is a rule of evidence deduced from the experience of mankind and
supported by reason and authority that positive testimony is entitled to
more weight than negative testimony, but by the latter term is meant
negative testimony in its true sense and not positive evidence of a
negative, because testimony in support of a negative may be as positive
as that in support of an affirmative.
                -- 254 Pac. Rep. 472.

Fortune Documents the Great Legal Decisions:

We can imagine no reason why, with ordinary care, human toes could not be
left out of chewing tobacco, and if toes are found in chewing tobacco, it
seems to us that someone has been very careless.
                -- 78 So. 365.

Fortune Documents the Great Legal Decisions:

We think that we may take judicial notice of the fact that the term "bitch"
may imply some feeling of endearment when applied to a female of the canine
species but that it is seldom, if ever, so used when applied to a female
of the human race. Coming as it did, reasonably close on the heels of two
revolver shots directed at the person of whom it was probably used, we think
it carries every reasonable implication of ill-will toward that person.
                -- Smith v. Moran, 193 N.E. 2d 466.

FORTUNE EXPLAINS WHAT JOB REVIEW CATCH PHRASES MEAN:    #1

skilled oral communicator:
        Mumbles inaudibly when attempting to speak.  Talks to self.
        Argues with self.  Loses these arguments.

skilled written communicator:
        Scribbles well.  Memos are invariable illegible, except for
        the portions that attribute recent failures to someone else.

growth potential:
        With proper guidance, periodic counseling, and remedial training,
        the reviewee may, given enough time and close supervision, meet
        the minimum requirements expected of him by the company.

key company figure:
        Serves as the perfect counter example.

FORTUNE EXPLAINS WHAT JOB REVIEW CATCH PHRASES MEAN:    #4

consistent:
        Reviewee hasn't gotten anything right yet, and it is anticipated
        that this pattern will continue throughout the coming year.

an excellent sounding board:
        Present reviewee with any number of alternatives, and implement
        them in the order precisely opposite of his/her specification.

a planner and organizer:
        Usually manages to put on socks before shoes.  Can match the
        animal tags on his clothing.