Freebsd Fortunes 3: 1653 of 2182 |
[FORTRAN] will persist for some time --
probably for at least the next decade.
-- T. Cheatham
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Freebsd Fortunes 3: 1654 of 2182 |
Fortunate is he for whom the belle toils.
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Freebsd Fortunes 3: 1655 of 2182 |
Fortunately, the responsibility for providing evidence is on the part of
the person making the claim, not the critic. It is not the responsibility
of UFO skeptics to prove that a UFO has never existed, nor is it the
responsibility of paranormal-health-claims skeptics to prove that crystals
or colored lights never healed anyone. The skeptic's role is to point out
claims that are not adequately supported by acceptable evidence and to
provide plausible alternative explanations that are more in keeping with
the accepted body of scientific evidence.
-- Thomas L. Creed, The Skeptical Inquirer, Vol. XII,
No. 2, pg. 215
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Freebsd Fortunes 3: 1656 of 2182 |
Fortune and love befriend the bold.
-- Ovid
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Freebsd Fortunes 3: 1657 of 2182 |
FORTUNE ANSWERS THE TOUGH QUESTIONS: #3
Q: Why haven't you graduated yet?
A: Well, Dad, I could have finished years ago, but I wanted
my dissertation to rhyme.
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Freebsd Fortunes 3: 1658 of 2182 |
FORTUNE ANSWERS THE TOUGH QUESTIONS: #8
Q: Is God a myth?
A: No, He's a mythter.
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Freebsd Fortunes 3: 1659 of 2182 |
fortune: cannot execute. Out of cookies.
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Freebsd Fortunes 3: 1660 of 2182 |
FORTUNE DISCUSSES THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN: #14
Low Blows:
Let's say a man and woman are watching a boxing match on TV. One
of the boxers is felled by a low blow. The woman says "Oh, gee. That must
hurt." The man doubles over and actually FEELS the pain.
Dressing Up:
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the
garbage, answer the phone, read a book, get the mail. A man will dress up
for: weddings, funerals. Speaking of weddings, when reminiscing about
weddings, women talk about "the ceremony". Men laugh about "the bachelor
party".
David Letterman:
Men think David Letterman is the funniest man on the face of the
Earth. Women think he is a mean, semi-dorky guy who always has a bad
haircut.
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Freebsd Fortunes 3: 1661 of 2182 |
FORTUNE DISCUSSES THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN: #16
Relationships:
First of all, a man does not call a relationship a relationship -- he
refers to it as "that time when me and Suzie were doing it on a semi-regular
basis".
When a relationship ends, a woman will cry and pour her heart out to
her girlfriends, and she will write a poem titled "All Men Are Idiots". Then
she will get on with her life.
A man has a little more trouble letting go. Six months after the
breakup, at 3:00 a.m. on a Saturday night, he will call and say, "I just
wanted to let you know you ruined my life, and I'll never forgive you, and I
hate you, and you're a total floozy. But I want you to know that there's
always a chance for us". This is known as the "I Hate You / I Love You"
drunken phone call, that 99% if all men have made at least once. There are
community colleges that offer courses to help men get over this need; alas,
these classes rarely prove effective.
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Freebsd Fortunes 3: 1662 of 2182 |
FORTUNE DISCUSSES THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN: #17
Shoes:
The average man has 4 pairs of footwear: running shoes, dress shoes,
boots, and slippers. The average woman has shoes 4 layers thick on the floor
of her closet. Most of them hurt her feet.
Making friends:
A woman will meet another woman with common interests, do a few things
together, and say something like, "I hope we can be good friends."
A man will meet another man with common interests, do a few things
together, and say nothing. After years of interacting with this other man,
sharing hopes and fears that he wouldn't confide in his priest or
psychiatrist, he'll finally let down his guard in a fit of drunken
sentimentality and say something like, "You know, for someone who's such a
jerk, I guess you're OK."
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