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I can't die until the government finds a safe place to bury my liver.
-- Phil Harris
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I Can't Get Over You, So I Get Up and Go Around to the Other Side
If You Won't Leave Me Alone, I'll Find Someone Who Will
I Knew That You'd Committed a Sin When You Came Home Late With
Your Socks Outside-in
I'm a Rabbit in the Headlights of Your Love
Don't Kick My Tires If You Ain't Gonna Take Me For a Ride
I Liked You Better Before I Knew You So Well
I Still Miss You, Baby, But My Aim's Gettin' Better
I've Got Red Eyes From Your White Lies and I'm Blue All the Time
-- proposed Country-Western song titles from "Wordplay"
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I can't mate in captivity.
-- Gloria Steinem, on why she has never married.
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I can't seem to bring myself to say, "Well, I guess I'll be toddling along."
It isn't that I can't toddle. It's that I can't guess I'll toddle.
-- Robert Benchley
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I can't stand squealers; hit that guy.
-- Albert Anastasia
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I can't stand this proliferation of paperwork. It's useless to fight the
forms. You've got to kill the people producing them.
-- Vladimir Kabaidze, general director of the Ivanovo Machine
Building Works (near Moscow) in a speech to the Communist
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I can't understand it.
I can't even understand the people who can understand it.
-- Queen Juliana of the Netherlands
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I can't understand why a person will take a year or two to write a
novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.
-- Fred Allen
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I can't understand why people are frightened of new ideas.
I'm frightened of the old ones.
-- John Cage
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I collect rare photographs... I have two... One of Houdini locking his
keys in his car... the other is a rare picture of Norman Rockwell beating
up a child.
-- Stephen Wright