Freebsd Fortunes 5: 1545 of 2298 |
Q: How many college football players does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Only one, but he gets three credits for it.
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Freebsd Fortunes 5: 1546 of 2298 |
Q: How many DEC repairmen does it take to fix a flat?
A: Five; four to hold the car up and one to swap tires.
Q: How long does it take?
A: It's indeterminate.
It will depend upon how many flats they've brought with them.
Q: What happens if you've got TWO flats?
A: They replace your generator.
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Freebsd Fortunes 5: 1547 of 2298 |
Q: How many Democrats does it take to enjoy a good joke?
A: One more than you can find.
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Freebsd Fortunes 5: 1548 of 2298 |
Q: How many elephants can you fit in a VW Bug?
A: Four. Two in the front, two in the back.
Q: How can you tell if an elephant is in your refrigerator?
A: There's a footprint in the mayo.
Q: How can you tell if two elephants are in your refrigerator?
A: There's two footprints in the mayo.
Q: How can you tell if three elephants are in your refrigerator?
A: The door won't shut.
Q: How can you tell if four elephants are in your refrigerator?
A: There's a VW Bug in your driveway.
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Freebsd Fortunes 5: 1549 of 2298 |
Q: How many hardware engineers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. We'll fix it in software.
Q: How many system programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. The application can work around it.
Q: How many software engineers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. We'll document it in the manual.
Q: How many tech writers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. The user can figure it out.
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Freebsd Fortunes 5: 1550 of 2298 |
Q: How many Harvard MBA's does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Just one. He grasps it firmly and the universe revolves around him.
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Freebsd Fortunes 5: 1551 of 2298 |
Q: How many IBM 370's does it take to execute a job?
A: Four, three to hold it down, and one to rip its head off.
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Freebsd Fortunes 5: 1552 of 2298 |
Q: How many IBM CPU's does it take to do a logical right shift?
A: 33. 1 to hold the bits and 32 to push the register.
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Freebsd Fortunes 5: 1553 of 2298 |
Q: How many IBM types does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Fifteen. One to do it, and fourteen to write document number
GC7500439-0001, Multitasking Incandescent Source System Facility,
of which 10% of the pages state only "This page intentionally
left blank", and 20% of the definitions are of the form "A:.....
consists of sequences of non-blank characters separated by blanks".
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Freebsd Fortunes 5: 1554 of 2298 |
Q: How many journalists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Three. One to report it as an inspired government program to bring
light to the people, one to report it as a diabolical government plot
to deprive the poor of darkness, and one to win a Pulitzer prize for
reporting that Electric Company hired a lightbulb-assassin to break
the bulb in the first place.
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