Freebsd Fortunes 6

The first requisite for immortality is death.
                -- Stanislaw Lem

The first riddle I ever heard, one familiar to almost every Jewish child,
was propounded to me by my father:

        "What is it that hangs on the wall, is green, wet -- and whistles?"
I knit my brow and thought and thought, and in final perplexity gave up.
        "A herring," said my father.
        "A herring," I echoed.  "A herring doesn't hang on the wall!"
        "So hang it there."
        "But a herring isn't green!" I protested.
        "Paint it."
        "But a herring isn't wet."
        "If it's just painted it's still wet."
        "But -- " I sputtered, summoning all my outrage,
                "a herring doesn't whistle!!"
        "Right, " smiled my father.  "I just put that in to make it hard."
                -- Leo Rosten

The first Rotarian was the first man to call John the Baptist "Jack."
                -- H.L. Mencken

The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts.
                -- Ehrlich

The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts.
                -- Paul Erlich

The First Rule of Program Optimization:
        Don't do it.

The Second Rule of Program Optimization (for experts only!):
        Don't do it yet.
                -- Michael Jackson

The first thing I do in the morning
is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.
                -- Dorothy Parker

The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers.
                -- Wm. Shakespeare, "Henry VI", Part IV

The first version always gets thrown away.

The five rules of Socialism:

        1. Don't think.
        2. If you do think, don't speak.
        3. If you think and speak, don't write.
        4. If you think, speak and write, don't sign.
        5. If you think, speak, write and sign, don't be surprised.

                -- being told in Poland, 1987