Freebsd Fortunes 6: 1214 of 2171 |
The Vet Who Surprised A Cow
In the course of his duties in August 1977, a Dutch veterinary
surgeon was required to treat an ailing cow. To investigate its internal
gases he inserted a tube into that end of the animal not capable of facial
expression and struck a match. The jet of flame set fire first to some
bales of hay and then to the whole farm causing damage estimate at L45,000.
The vet was later fined L140 for starting a fire in a manner surprising to
the magistrates. The cow escaped with shock.
-- Stephen Pile, "The Book of Heroic Failures"
|
|
|
Freebsd Fortunes 6: 1215 of 2171 |
The VFW represents many who died to give this country a second chance
to make it what it is supposed to be -- God's guest house on earth.
-- John Wayne
|
|
|
Freebsd Fortunes 6: 1216 of 2171 |
The volume of paper expands to fill the available briefcases.
-- Jerry Brown
|
|
|
Freebsd Fortunes 6: 1217 of 2171 |
The voluptuous blond was chatting with her handsome escort in a posh
restaurant when their waiter, stumbling as he brought their drinks,
dumped a martini on the rocks down the back of the blonde's dress. She
sprang to her feet with a wild rebel yell, dashed wildly around the table,
then galloped wriggling from the room followed by her distraught boyfriend.
A man seated on the other side of the room with a date of his own beckoned
to the waiter and said, "We'll have two of whatever she was drinking."
|
|
|
Freebsd Fortunes 6: 1218 of 2171 |
The wages of sin are unreported.
|
|
|
Freebsd Fortunes 6: 1219 of 2171 |
The War on Drugs is just a small part of the War on the United States
Constitution.
|
|
|
Freebsd Fortunes 6: 1220 of 2171 |
The warning message we sent the Russians was a
calculated ambiguity that would be clearly understood.
-- Alexander Haig
|
|
|
Freebsd Fortunes 6: 1221 of 2171 |
The water was not fit to drink.
To make it palatable, we had to add whiskey.
By diligent effort, I learned to like it.
-- W. Churchill
|
|
|
Freebsd Fortunes 6: 1222 of 2171 |
The way I understand it, the Russians are sort of a combination of evil and
incompetence... sort of like the Post Office with tanks.
-- Emo Philips
|
|
|
Freebsd Fortunes 6: 1223 of 2171 |
The way of the world is to praise dead saints and prosecute live ones.
-- Nathaniel Howe
|
|