Freebsd Fortunes 6

The young lady had an unusual list,
Linked in part to a structural weakness.
She set no preconditions.

The young man-about-town enjoyed luxury but didn't always have the means
to buy it, and so he huffily walked out of the Miami Beach hotel when he
found out the charges for room, meals and golf privileges were $300 a day.
He registered across the street at an equally elegant hotel, where the
rates were only $70.  The following morning he went down to the hotel's
golf course and asked Scotty, the pro, to sell him a couple of golf balls.
"Sure," said Scotty.  "That'll be $25 apiece."
        "What?" screamed the bachelor.  "In the hotel across the street
they only charge $1 a ball!"
        "Naturally," replied the pro.  "Over there they get you by the
rooms."

THEGODDESSOFTHENETHASTWISTINGFINGERSANDHERVOICEISLIKEAJAVALININTHENIGHTDUDE

Their idea of an offer you can't refuse is an offer...
and you'd better not refuse.

Them as has, gets.

Then, gently touching my face, she hesitated for a moment as her
incredible eyes poured forth into mine love, joy, pain, tragedy,
acceptance, and peace.  "'Bye for now," she said warmly.
                -- Thea Alexander, "2150 A.D."

Then there was LSD, which was supposed to make you think you could fly.
I remember it made you think you couldn't stand up, and mostly it was
right.
                -- P.J. O'Rourke

Then there was the Formosan bartender named Taiwan-On.

Then there was the ScoutMaster who got a fantastic deal on this case of
Tates brand compasses for his troup; only $1.25 each!  Only problem was,
when they got them out in the woods, the compasses were all stuck pointing
to the "W" on the dial.

Moral:
        He who has a Tates is lost!

"Then you admit confirming not denying you ever said that?"
"NO! ... I mean Yes!  WHAT?"
"I'll put `maybe.'"
                -- Bloom County