Freebsd Limericks

There was a young man of Ostend
Whose wife caught him fucking her friend.
        "It's no use, my duck,
        Interrupting our fuck,
For I'm damned if I draw till I spend."

There was a young man of Saskatchewan,
Whose penis was truly gargantuan.
        It was good for large whores,
        And for small dinosaurs,
And was rough enough to scratch a match upon.

There was a young man of Seattle
Who bested a bull in a battle.
        With fire and gumption
        He assumed the bull's function,
And deflowered a whole herd of cattle.

There was a young man of St. John's
Who wanted to bugger the swans.
        But the loyal hall porter
        Said, "Pray take my daughter!
Those birds are reserved for the dons."

There was a young man of Tibet
-- And this is the strangest one yet --
        His prick was so long,
        And so pointed and strong,
He could bugger six sheep en brochette.

There was a young man of Toulouse
Who had a deficient prepuce,
        But the foreskin he lacked
        He made up in his sac;
The result was, his balls were too loose.

There was a young man who appeared
To his friends with a full growth of beard;
        They at once said, "Although
        We can't say why it's so,
The effect is uncommonly weird."
                -- Edward Gorey

There was a young man who said "God,
I find it exceedingly odd,
        That the willow oak tree
        Continues to be,
When there's no one about in the Quad."

"Dear Sir, your astonishment's odd,
For I'm always about in the Quad;
        And that's why the tree,
        Continues to be,"
Signed "Yours faithfully, God."

There was a young man with a fiddle
Who asked of his girl, "Do you diddle?"
        She replied, "Yes, I do,
        But prefer to with two --
It's twice as much fun in the middle."

There was a young man with a prick
Which into his wife he would stick
        Every morning and night
        If it stood up all right --
Not a very remarkable trick.

His wife had a nice little cunt:
It was hairy, and soft, and in front,
        And with this she would fuck him,
        Though sometimes she'd suck him --
A charming, if commonplace, stunt.