Linux Cookie

"You show me an American who can keep his mouth shut and I'll eat him."
-- Newspaperman from Frank Capra's _Meet_John_Doe_

        "And we heard him exclaim
         As he started to roam:
         `I'm a hologram, kids,
          please don't try this at home!'"
        -- Bob Violence
-- Howie Chaykin's little animated 3-dimensional darling, Bob Violence

"The Soviet Union, which has complained recently about alleged anti-Soviet
themes in American advertising, lodged an official protest this week against
the Ford Motor Company's new campaign: `Hey you stinking fat Russian, get
 off my Ford Escort.'"
-- Dennis Miller, Saturday Night Live

"There is hopeful symbolism in the fact that flags do not wave in a vacuum."
--Arthur C. Clarke

"They ought to make butt-flavored cat food."   --Gallagher

"Not only is God dead, but just try to find a plumber on weekends."
--Woody Allen

"It's ten o'clock... Do you know where your AI programs are?"  -- Peter Oakley

"Ah, you know the type.  They like to blame it all on the Jews or the Blacks,
'cause if they couldn't, they'd have to wake up to the fact that life's one big,
scary, glorious, complex and ultimately unfathomable crapshoot -- and the only
reason THEY can't seem to keep up is they're a bunch of misfits and losers."
-- an analysis of neo-Nazis and such, Badger comics

"Interesting survey in the current Journal of Abnormal Psychology: New York
City has a higher percentage of people you shouldn't make any sudden moves
around than any other city in the world."
-- David Letterman

"Tourists -- have some fun with New york's hard-boiled cabbies.  When you get
to your destination, say to your driver, "Pay?  I was hitchhiking."
-- David Letterman