Linux Men Women
fortune: 96 - 105 of 582 from linux men women
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Linux Men Women

Fortune: 96 - 105 of 582 from Linux Men Women

Linux Men Women:  96 of 582

Another greeting card category consists of those persons who send out
photographs of their families every year.  In the same mail that brought the
greetings from Marcia and Philip, my friend found such a conversation piece.
"My God, Lida is enormous!" she exclaimed.  I don't know why women want to
record each year, for two or three hundred people to see, the ravages wrought
upon them, their mates, and their progeny by the artillery of time, but
between five and seven per cent of Christmas cards, at a rough estimate, are
family groups, and even the most charitable recipient studies them for little
signs of dissolution or derangement.  Nothing cheers a woman more, I am afraid,
than the proof that another woman is letting herself go, or has lost control
of her figure, or is clearly driving her husband crazy, or is obviously
drinking more than is good for her, or still doesn't know what to wear.
Middle-aged husbands in such photographs are often described as looking
"young enough to be her son," but they don't always escape so easily, and a
couple opening envelopes in the season of mercy and good will sometimes handle
a male friend or acquaintance rather sharply.  "Good Lord!" the wife will say.
"Frank looks like a sex-crazed shotgun slayer, doesn't he?"  "Not to me," the
husband may reply.  "to me he looks more like a Wilkes-Barre dentist who is
being sought by the police in connection with the disappearance of a choir
singer."
                -- James Thurber, "Merry Christmas"
 
Linux Men Women:  97 of 582

Any girl can be glamorous; all you have to do is stand still and look stupid.
                -- Hedy Lamarr
 
Linux Men Women:  98 of 582

Any woman is a volume if one knows how to read her.
 
Linux Men Women:  99 of 582

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
                -- Groucho Marx
 
Linux Men Women:  100 of 582

        "Anything else, sir?" asked the attentive bellhop, trying his best
to make the lady and gentleman comfortable in their penthouse suite in the
posh hotel.
        "No.  No, thank you," replied the gentleman.
        "Anything for your wife, sir?" the bellhop asked.
        "Why, yes, young man," said the gentleman.  "Would you bring me a
postcard?"
 
Linux Men Women:  101 of 582

As fathers commonly go, it is seldom a misfortune to be fatherless; and
considering the general run of sons, as seldom a misfortune to be childless.

The only solid and lasting peace between a man and his wife is, doubtless,
a separation.
                -- Lord Chesterfield, letter to his son, 1763
 
Linux Men Women:  102 of 582

Asked how she felt being the first woman to make a major-league team, she
said, "Like a pig in mud," or words to that effect, and then turned and
released a squirt of tobacco juice from the wad of rum soaked plug in her
right cheek.  She chewed a rare brand of plug called Stuff It, which she
learned to chew when she was playing Nicaraguan summer ball.  She told the
writers, "They were so mean to me down there you couldn't write it in your
newspaper.  I took a gun everywhere I went, even to bed.  *Especially* to
bed.  Guys were after me like you can't believe.  That's when I started
chewing tobacco -- because no matter how bad anybody treats you, it's not
as bad as this.  This is the worst chew in the world.  After this,
everything else is peaches and cream."  The writers elected Gentleman Jim,
the Sparrow's P.R. guy, to bite off a chunk and tell them how it tasted,
and as he sat and chewed it tears ran down his old sunburnt cheeks and he
couldn't talk for a while. Then he whispered, "You've been chewing this for
two years?  God, I had no idea it was so hard to be a woman."
                -- Garrison Keillor
 
Linux Men Women:  103 of 582

At last I've found the girl of my dreams.  Last night she said to me,
"Once more, Strange, and this time *I'll* be Donnie and *you* be Marie.
                -- Strange de Jim
 
Linux Men Women:  104 of 582

Bachelors' wives and old maids' children are always perfect.
                -- Nicolas Chamfort
 
Linux Men Women:  105 of 582

Basically my wife was immature.  I'd be at home in the bath and she'd
come in and sink my boats.
                -- Woody Allen
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