Linux Men Women

Hat check girl:
        "Goodness!  What lovely diamonds!"
Mae West:
        "Goodness had nothin' to do with it, dearie."
                -- "Night After Night", 1932

Having a baby isn't so bad.  If you're a female Emperor penguin in the
Antarctic.  She lays the egg, rolls it over to the father, then takes off
for warmer weather where she eats and eats and eats.  For two months, the
father stands stiff, without food, blind in the 24-hour dark, balancing
the egg on his feet.  After the little penguin is hatched, the mother
sees fit to come home.
                -- L.M. Boyd, "Austin American-Statesman"

He gave her a look that you could have poured on a waffle.

He who enters his wife's dressing room is a philosopher or a fool.
                -- Balzac

He who is intoxicated with wine will be sober again in the course of the
night, but he who is intoxicated by the cupbearer will not recover his
senses until the day of judgement.
                -- Saadi

Hey, Jim, it's me, Susie Lillis from the laundromat.  You said you were
gonna call and it's been two weeks.  What's wrong, you lose my number?

High heels are a device invented by a woman who was tired of being kissed
on the forehead.

Him:    "Your skin is so soft.  Are you a model?"
Her:    "No,"  [blush]  "I'm a cosmetologist."
Him:    "Really? That's incredible... It must be very tough to handle
        weightlessness."
                -- "The Jerk"

His designs were strictly honourable, as the phrase is: that is, to rob
a lady of her fortune by way of marriage.
                -- Henry Fielding, "Tom Jones"

"Home, Sweet Home" must surely have been written by a bachelor.
                -- Samuel Butler