Freebsd Fortunes: 667 of 3566 |
Certain old men prefer to rise at dawn, taking a cold bath and a long
walk with an empty stomach and otherwise mortifying the flesh. They
then point with pride to these practices as the cause of their sturdy
health and ripe years; the truth being that they are hearty and old,
not because of their habits, but in spite of them. The reason we find
only robust persons doing this thing is that it has killed all the
others who have tried it.
-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
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Freebsd Fortunes: 668 of 3566 |
Certainly there are things in life that money can't buy, but it's very funny--
Did you ever try buying them without money?
-- Ogden Nash
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Freebsd Fortunes: 669 of 3566 |
Character Density, n.:
The number of very weird people in the office.
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Freebsd Fortunes: 670 of 3566 |
Checkuary, n.:
The thirteenth month of the year. Begins New Year's Day and
ends when a person stops absentmindedly writing the old year on his
checks.
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Freebsd Fortunes: 671 of 3566 |
Chef, n.:
Any cook who swears in French.
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Freebsd Fortunes: 672 of 3566 |
Chemicals, n.:
Noxious substances from which modern foods are made.
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Freebsd Fortunes: 673 of 3566 |
Chemistry is applied theology.
-- Augustus Stanley Owsley III
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Freebsd Fortunes: 674 of 3566 |
Chicago law prohibits eating in a place that is on fire.
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Freebsd Fortunes: 675 of 3566 |
Chicago, n.:
Where the dead still vote ... early and often!
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Freebsd Fortunes: 676 of 3566 |
Chicago Transit Authority Rider's Rule #36:
Never ever ask the tough looking gentleman wearing El Rukn
headgear where he got his "pyramid powered pizza warmer".
-- Chicago Reader 3/27/81
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