Humor: Worst of Fortunes for the year 2012

Moe: Wanna play poker tonight? Joe: I can't. It's...
Moe: Wanna play poker tonight? Joe: I can't. It's the kids' night out. Moe: So? Joe: I gotta stay home with the nurse.

Boy, n.: A noise with dirt on it.
Boy, n.: A noise with dirt on it.

Good news is just life's way of keeping you off balance.
Good news is just life's way of keeping you off balance.

The hearing ear is always found close to the speaking tongue,...
The hearing ear is always found close to the speaking tongue, a custom whereof the memory of man runneth not howsomever to the contrary, nohow.

This life is a test. It is only a test. Had this been...
This life is a test. It is only a test. Had this been an actual life, you would have received further instructions as to what to do and where to go.

You know if they ever find a way to harness sarcasm as...
You know if they ever find a way to harness sarcasm as an energy source, you people are all going to owe me big. -- Bill Paul

A man without a woman is like a fish without gills.
A man without a woman is like a fish without gills.

At the end of your life there'll be a good rest, and no further...
At the end of your life there'll be a good rest, and no further activities are scheduled.

FORTUNE REMEMBERS THE GREAT MOTHERS: \#6 "Johnny,...
FORTUNE REMEMBERS THE GREAT MOTHERS: \#6 "Johnny, if you fall and break your leg, don't come running to me!" -- Mrs. Emily Barstow, June 16, 1954

I went on to test the program in every way I could devise...
I went on to test the program in every way I could devise. I strained it to expose its weaknesses. I ran it for high-mass stars and low-mass stars, for stars born exceedingly hot and those born relatively cold. I ran it assuming the superfluid...