Humor: Worst of Fortunes for the month of March, 2013

There once was a man from Sydney Who could put it up to...
There once was a man from Sydney Who could put it up to her kidney. But the man from Quebec Put it up to her neck; He had a big one, now didn't he?

Larkinson's Law: All laws are basically false.
Larkinson's Law: All laws are basically false.

A man without a woman is like a fish without gills.
A man without a woman is like a fish without gills.

Professor Gorden Newell threw another shutout in last week's...
Professor Gorden Newell threw another shutout in last week's Chem Eng. 130 midterm. Once again a student did not receive a single point on his exam. Newell has now tossed 5 shutouts this quarter. Newell's earned exam average has now dropped to...

When a girl can read the handwriting on the wall, she may be...
When a girl can read the handwriting on the wall, she may be in the wrong rest room.

A cabin boy on an old clipper Grew steadily flipper...
A cabin boy on an old clipper Grew steadily flipper and flipper. He plugged up his ass With fragments of glass And thus circumcised his old skipper.

A chippy who worked in Black Bluff Had a pussy as large as...
A chippy who worked in Black Bluff Had a pussy as large as a muff. It had room for both hands And some intimate glands, And was soft as a little duck's fluff.

A lady stockholder quite hetera Decided her fortune...
A lady stockholder quite hetera Decided her fortune to bettera: On the floor, quite unclad, She successively had Merrill Lynch, Pierce, Fenner, et cetera...

A worn-out young husband named Lehr Her daily his wife's...
A worn-out young husband named Lehr Her daily his wife's plaintive prayer: "Slip on a sheath, quick, Then slip your big dick Between these lips covered with hair."

A young bride and groom of Australia Remarked as they joined...
A young bride and groom of Australia Remarked as they joined genitalia : "Though the system seems odd, We are thankful that God Developed the genus Mammalia."