Humor: Worst of Fortunes for the month of March, 2016

A graduate student named Zac Was said to be great in the sack...
A graduate student named Zac Was said to be great in the sack. An inch of his boner Put girls in a coma And two gave them epileptic attacks.

There once was a man from Madras, Whose balls were made out...
There once was a man from Madras, Whose balls were made out of brass. When they clanged together, They played "Stormy Weather", And lightning shot out of his ass.

There once was a man from Sandem Who was making his girl on...
There once was a man from Sandem Who was making his girl on a tandem. At the peak of the make She jammed on the brake And scattered his semen at random.

There once was a man named Lodge, who had seatbelts installed...
There once was a man named Lodge, who had seatbelts installed in his Dodge. When his date was strapped in, He committed a sin, without ever leaving the garage.

There once was a man named McSweeny Who spilled lots of gin...
There once was a man named McSweeny Who spilled lots of gin on his weeney So just to be couth He added vermouth And slipped his best girl a martini.

There once was a man named McSweeny Who spilled some raw gin...
There once was a man named McSweeny Who spilled some raw gin on his weeny. Just to be couth, He added vermouth, And slipped his girlfriend a martini.

There was a young man from Kent Whose tool was so long that...
There was a young man from Kent Whose tool was so long that it bent. To save himself trouble He put it in double And instead of coming, he went.

Eat the rich, the poor are tough and stringy.
Eat the rich, the poor are tough and stringy.

Hier liegt ein Mann ganz ohnegleich; Im Leibe dick, an Suenden...
Hier liegt ein Mann ganz ohnegleich; Im Leibe dick, an Suenden reich. Wir haben ihn in das Grab gesteckt, Here lies a man with sundry flaws Weil es uns duenkt er sei verreckt. And numerous Sins upon his head; ...

You're almost as happy as you think you are.
You're almost as happy as you think you are.