Humor: Worst of Fortunes for the month of December, 2017

There once was a man from Sandem Who was making his girl on...
There once was a man from Sandem Who was making his girl on a tandem. At the peak of the make She jammed on the brake And scattered his semen at random.

There once was a man named Lodge, who had seatbelts installed...
There once was a man named Lodge, who had seatbelts installed in his Dodge. When his date was strapped in, He committed a sin, without ever leaving the garage.

There once were two brothers named Luntz Who buggered each...
There once were two brothers named Luntz Who buggered each other at once. When asked to account For this intricate mount, They said, "Ass-holes are tighter than cunts."

It may be bad manners to talk with your mouth full, but...
It may be bad manners to talk with your mouth full, but it isn't too good either if you speak when your head is empty.

Pardo's First Postulate: Anything good in life...
Pardo's First Postulate: Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral, or fattening. Arnold's Addendum: Everything else causes cancer in rats.

In the long run we are all dead. -- John...
In the long run we are all dead. -- John Maynard Keynes

A cabin boy on an old clipper Grew steadily flipper...
A cabin boy on an old clipper Grew steadily flipper and flipper. He plugged up his ass With fragments of glass And thus circumcised his old skipper.

A german composer named Bruckner Remarked to a lady while...
A german composer named Bruckner Remarked to a lady while fuckener : "Less lento, my dear, With your cute little rear; I like a hot presto when muckener!"

A habit obscene and bizarre, Has taken a-hold of papa...
A habit obscene and bizarre, Has taken a-hold of papa. He brings home young camels And other odd mammals, And gives them a go at mama.

A pious young lady of Chichester Made all of the saints...
A pious young lady of Chichester Made all of the saints in their niches stir And each morning at matin Her breast in pink satin Made the bishop of Chichester's breeches stir.