Humor: Worst of Fortunes for Friday March 17, 2017

Absent, adj.: Exposed to the attacks of friends...
Absent, adj.: Exposed to the attacks of friends and acquaintances; defamed; slandered.

There once was a man named McGruder, Who canoed with a girl...
There once was a man named McGruder, Who canoed with a girl in Bermuder. But the girl thought it crude, To be wooed in the nude, So McGru took an oar and subduder.