Humor: Worst of Fortunes for the month of April, 2017

There once was a man from Nantucket Whose dick was so long...
There once was a man from Nantucket Whose dick was so long he could suck it. He said with a grin As he wiped off his chin, "If my ear was a cunt, I could fuck it."

There once was a man named McSweeny Who spilled lots of gin...
There once was a man named McSweeny Who spilled lots of gin on his weeney So just to be couth He added vermouth And slipped his best girl a martini.

There was a young man of Darjeeling Whose cock reached up...
There was a young man of Darjeeling Whose cock reached up to the ceiling. In the electric light socket, He'd put it and rock it-- Oh God! What a wonderful feeling!

I'll be comfortable on the couch. Famous last words...
I'll be comfortable on the couch. Famous last words. -- Lenny Bruce

Ladies and Gentlemen, Hobos and Tramps, Cross-eyed mosquitos...
Ladies and Gentlemen, Hobos and Tramps, Cross-eyed mosquitos and bowlegged ants, I come before you to stand behind you To tell you of something I know nothing about. Next Thursday (which is good Friday), There will be a convention held in the Women's...

ACHTUNG!!! Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken...
ACHTUNG!!! Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken und mittengrabben. Ist easy schnappen der springenwerk, blowenfusen und corkenpoppen mit spitzensparken. Ist nicht fur gewerken by das dummkopfen. Das rubbernecken sightseeren keepen hands in...

If God had really intended men to fly, he'd make it easier...
If God had really intended men to fly, he'd make it easier to get to the airport. -- George Winters

The best portion of a good man's life, his little, nameless,...
The best portion of a good man's life, his little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and love. -- Wordsworth

You will never know hunger.
You will never know hunger.

A busy young lady named Gloria Was had by Sir Gerald...
A busy young lady named Gloria Was had by Sir Gerald du Maurier And then by six men, Sir Gerald again, And the band at the Waldorf-Astoria.