Humor: Worst of Fortunes for Wednesday July 19, 2017

A wood-fetish busboy named Gable Is rapid, is thorough,...
A wood-fetish busboy named Gable Is rapid, is thorough, is able; But when everything's cleared, He gives way to the weird, As he lovingly busses each table.

At the Villa Nemetia the sleepers Are disturbed by a phantom...
At the Villa Nemetia the sleepers Are disturbed by a phantom in weepers; It beats all night long A dirge on a gong As it staggers about in the creepers. -- Edward Gorey

There once was a man from Nantucket Who kept all his cash in...
There once was a man from Nantucket Who kept all his cash in a bucket. His daughter, named Nan, Ran away with a man, And as for the bucket, Nantucket. The pair of them went to Manhasset, (Nan and the man with the asset.)...

There once was a young man from Boston Who drove around town...
There once was a young man from Boston Who drove around town in an Austin, There was room for his ass, And a gallon of gas, So he hung out his balls and he lost 'em.

There was a young man of Devizes, Whose balls were of different...
There was a young man of Devizes, Whose balls were of different sizes. One was so small, It was nothing at all; The other took numerous prizes.

There was a young man of high station Who was found by a pious...
There was a young man of high station Who was found by a pious relation Making love in a ditch To -- I won't say a bitch -- But a woman of no reputation.

Executive ability is prominent in your make-up.
Executive ability is prominent in your make-up.